


A Marriage of True Minds

by DrFaustus



Category: Yuri!!! on Ice (Anime)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Professors, F/M, Graduate School, Graduate Student Katuski Yuuri, M/M, Professor Victor, References to Shakespeare, Scholar AU, Slow Burn, shakespeare au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2018-04-17
Packaged: 2018-09-23 14:49:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 29,606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9662054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DrFaustus/pseuds/DrFaustus
Summary: After his application to the doctoral program was rejected due to his incomplete entrance essay, Yuuri Katsuki scores a job running a small local bookstore. Sure, it’s not his dream but it’s simple with few surprises and little stress. That is until a world renowned Shakespearean Scholar, Dr. Viktor Nikiforov, stops in one day and reminds Yuuri just why he applied in the first place. When Viktor happens upon an old uncompleted paper Yuuri had been working on, he realizes just what a genius Yuuri is, and vows to help him not only get in, but graduate with top honors. However, just being Yuuri’s mentor isn’t really what Viktor had in mind.





	1. Two Houses, Both Alike in Dignity

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To my beloved partner in crime. I miss you always.
> 
> Thanks to my friends for beta reading this at strange times and just generally putting up with me.
> 
> I wrote this in about two days and I'm so exhausted as I had about 8 hours in-between classes and studying to write it. I'm not sure if I'll continue it to be honest considering the fact I'm a full time student myself trying to get into grad school, so please let know if you want to read more. If not I might just end it here. Personally, I'm not a Shakespearean but I know way too much about the field considering my mentor and some of my best friends are. If you have any questions you can always pop over to my YOI tumblr blog here: https://vityaaaa.tumblr.com/ where I'll post updates and other YOI goodness. Check out the end notes for an explanation of Shakespeare goodness.
> 
> (UPDATE: I decided to continue to work on it although updates might be a bit spaced out)

The book shop was off main street, just down the street and to the left.

It was small, each and every crevice jam packed with terribly mismatched books. There were books nearing fifty years old, and ones that had been published just months ago. It was a hodge podge of literature, with everything from the classics to vampire romance. Squished in between a law office and an old dry cleaners, the shop was anything but a chain store. It was barely breaking even each month, relying on a steady clientele to keep it afloat these days. 

Yuuri had been hired by the nice older man, Mr. Jones, who owned the shop when it became clear he himself was too far up in years to run it himself. He had been the obvious pick, having both a bachelor’s in English Literature and master's in Renaissance Literature. When asked why he hadn’t gotten a PhD, he had just said that he wasn’t sure the eight years of school was too much for him.

What a lie that had been.

Yuuri had dreamt of nothing but burying himself in his studies, of losing himself in Marlowe for days on end. It was all he had ever thought about, that Doctor in front of his name. It had driven him for so long, sustained him on so many weary nights, that now that it seemed out of reach he was lost.

So he had taken the first job he’d found and settled into life in his old hometown, forgetting the life he had once known and the dreams he’d had. He’d let all his journal subscriptions end and tried his best to move on with his life. He had gotten rejected from grad school and that was all the rejection he could handle for right now.

It was nice. There was no stressing about due dates, no ridiculously late nights spent in the library. No more Red Bull fueled days, followed by sleepless nights. There was no pressure here, nothing he did was being graded. But all it would ever be was just nice.

The store had received a new shipment today and it was Yuuri’s job to go through and sort them into the appropriate categories and then shelve them. Most, it appeared, where children’s books, judging by the colorful pictures and large font. They were easy enough to shelve and Yuuri finished the task quickly, moving on to the last set of books.

He stopped when he saw them.

Hamlet in Purgatory by Viktor Nikiforov was written in bold lettering across the cover of the book, an old Renaissance painting of angels ascending in the middle.

Dr. Nikiforov had been Yuuri’s inspiration in his undergrad. He had followed him closely. He had been the reason that he had taken up Renaissance studies in the first place, inspired by the professor’s writings. Dr. Nikiforov was only a few years older than him, but he had sent shockwaves through the community when he had gotten his PhD at only 23 years old, an almost inhuman feat. He had published a number of now well known pieces. He was respected by all, and considered to be a renowned scholar. Though he mainly lived in Russia, he was known to visit the states to see his colleagues as well as to do some research. 

Every new piece Dr. Nikiforov published Yuuri had read. There were stacks of the man’s work on Yuuri’s desk, each thoroughly annotated with bright highlighter and multi colored pens. There was no scholar quite like him; with graceful and almost poetic prose, he made his points clear and complex at the same time. His research was impeccable and incredibly thorough, leaving no stone unturned. The man was a God among scholars, untouchable and clearly cut from a different cloth. Whereas most of his peers were old with balding heads and drooping posture, Viktor was a picture of youth.

Although his hair was grey, it was by no means old or unattractive. If anything it added to his dignified appearance. He was always well dressed in a crisp white dress shirt, the sleeves rolled up and the top button unbuttoned. Typically, he wore a well fitted pair of black slacks and handmade Italian leather shoes. He was always extremely well dressed, from what Yuuri remembered, as befitted someone of his standing. From what he read, Viktor was known to pal around with a few other Renaissance scholars, though not Shakespeareans like himself. Christophe Giacometti was well known for his work on Ben Johnson, which was fitting considering how self absorbed the two were, and the scholars were said to be quite close friends as well as working together on numerous pieces. 

Yuuri remembered the countless nights reading Dr. Nikiforov’s pieces in his favorite chair in the library. It was a bittersweet memory. While he no longer had the stress of being in a high intensity program such as the one at UConn, he found he missed the academic life. He missed the nights spent scouring JSTOR and the days spent proof reading his drafts. 

But there was no going back now; he had failed so now he had to move on and leave it all behind it.

He gazed down at the book in his hands. He used to follow Dr. Nikiforov so closely. Not long ago he could be found running to the library when he got the e-mail that the man had published something new. Yuuri had often wasted almost all of his printer credit printing out the man’s work, and his peer’s responses to it. His friend Yuuko used to have lend him her credit. She also had to wake him up when he often fell asleep during their study sessions. 

Yuuko had been a good friend to him, always there when he needed her, always pushing him to be better. She was married now with triplets. It seemed everyone from his master’s program had found their place in life while Yuuri was still struggling to find his. 

All he had wanted was to be considered Dr. Nikiforov’s peer, to publish something in the same journal as him. But it hadn’t been in the cards. 

He sighed, looking at the book, tempted to read it, to relive his past. He turned it over to the back cover where it was filled with rave reviews from esteemed establishments such as the New York Times Book Review and the London Review of Books. Just the fact it was being distributed in bookstores, especially tiny ones such as this, was incredible. Critical pieces on Shakespeare were usually kept to chain stores, and that was only if they were influential works. This was another incredible feat to add to Dr. Nikiforov’s already long list of achievements. 

Looking over his shoulder and seeing the book store empty, he quietly flipped to the last pages. Dr. Nikiforov was as handsome as ever and his biography was the same. A few of the girls in his classes had positively fawned over the man. With his dashing heart shaped smile and his natural charisma he seemed to charm everyone he met. Yuuri had seen a number of his presentations on YouTube and in each one the man always managed to easily convey his complex points and charmed the audience with his quick wit. 

In contrast Yuuri almost always seemed to flub his presentations, getting anxious in front of the crowd he would refuse to make eye contact and simply read off his paper in a monotone and quiet voice. He never seemed to be able to work the crowd like Dr. Nikiforov did. However, his grades usually seemed to balance out as he always excelled in his papers.

If only Vicchan hadn’t passed away. 

Shoving the painful memories from his mind, Yuuri glanced one more time at the portrait of Dr. Nikiforov before shutting the book and getting to work with shelving them. However, one look in the box and he was immediately confused as there were an unnecessarily large amount of books in the box. Yuuri was a bit confused, there was no way his boss could have ordered this many; they only needed five to ten tops. Curious, Yuuri opened the other card board boxes and found that they too were filled with the same book.

How odd, Yuuri thought to himself. Perplexed by this, he decided it was best to speak to the owner himself. He walked over the counter where the phone was. He picked up the outdated phone and dialed the stores owner, the number written on a piece of scrap paper taped to the top.

“Hello?” a raspy voice responded after the second ring.

“Hi, it’s Yuuri,” he answered.

“Yuuri, good to hear from you, my boy. How’s it going over there?” 

“Good, I just had a question. We received a couple boxes of a single book, Hamlet in Purgatory by Viktor Nikiforov. I can call the warehouse if you want, tell them they sent us the wrong order,” Yuuri said.

“No need to, I ordered them. I must have forgot to tell you but Dr. Nikiforov is coming to do a book signing in a week or so. I think Saturday, I have to double check. I keep misplacing my calendar,” he rambled on.

Yuuri however, stood frozen. Viktor Nikiforov...here? His brain couldn’t process it all as Mr. Jones rambled on.

“Ah here it is. Yes, Viktor will be there Saturday, it seems. The books got here just in time then, that’s good. You know they’re calling for a big snowstorm this weekend, I hope it doesn’t ruin the event. I’m hoping the signing will drum up some business, it’s been so quiet this winter and Yakov’s an old friend of mine,” he continued on.

“Yakov Feltsman?” Yuuri blurted out, surprised at the name.

“Yes, we went to school back in the...oh you don’t need to know how old I am. Once you get past a certain age it doesn’t even matter anyways. What was I on about? Ah! Yakov Feltsman, brilliant man. Anyways, we still keep in contact and I was talking about my low numbers, seems winter brought everything to a bit of a halt. Anywho, he suggested his protegee Viktor come up and do a signing. He’s published a bunch of things according to Yakov, but this is his first major book so he wanted to do a test signing. Of course I said he could have it here, why wouldn’t I? Viktor’s such a nice young man. Plus, it might help business a bit so I said of course.” He continued to ramble on about the weather and his joints, but Yuuri tuned him out.

Viktor Nikiforov, the world renowned Shakespearean, was going to be in the same room as him. Yuuri could feel his heart speeding up at the thought, a panic setting in. There was so much to do. the shelves had to be duster and everything had to be cleaned and what on Earth was he going to wear? 

“Yuuri, are you still there?” Mr. Jones asked.

“Y-Yes,” Yuuri stammered out, brought back out of his mental to do list. 

“Ah! Good, you know these days I don’t even know when someone hangs up I just keep talking until the little beeps start. Anyways, I’ll need you to prepare some signs and clean the place up. Get things ready for the big day? When is it again? Oh, right Saturday! That gives you about, oh what is it today, Tuesday? That gives you enough time right? Right, you’ll be fine. Just make sure the shop’s presentable that’s really it. You should be fine. Viktor’s a nice young man. Anyways it’s not that big of a deal, are you familiar with his work at all? Didn’t you do Shakespeare?” Mr. Jones asked.

“Sort of.” Yuuri replied.

“See then, you’ll be fine, I might stop in Sunday to say hello. I haven’t seen him since he got his masters you know. Yakov used to bring him by every once and awhile to see my personal collection. I used to be quite the collector back in the day, Yakov and I made quite the team if I do say so myself. Anyways, I’ll let you go you probably have things to be doing. I’ll try to stop in at some point. Have a good one Yuuri,” he said in his typical jovial tone.

“Bye,” Yuuri managed to get out before the line went dead. He hung up the phone, completely bewildered. He couldn’t believe it. Not only did Mr. Jones know Dr. Yakov Feltsman, he knew Viktor Nikiforov, and he was coming here.

Yuuri had to hold onto the counter as he desperately was trying to keep it together. Viktor Nikiforov would be here in a few days. There was really no time to lose, not a second to spare. He tried to steady his nerves. He knew the first thing he had to do. Slowly, he walked over to the stacks of cardboard boxes. It had been almost a year since he had decided to move on, and he had tried so hard to put the past behind him. But it seemed Shakespeare wasn’t quite done with him yet. Yuuri sighed, looking down and picking up the book slowly. Perhaps the universe had a plan for him after all, a date with destiny and the Bard.

_____  
Yuuri was exhausted. 

He prayed the Red Bull he was sipping on would kick in and bring him back to life after last night. Originally, he had vowed to only read a few chapters and finish it on his down time the following day. However, after reading the first pages he knew that wasn’t going to happen as he fell into the familiar rhythm of reading a critical piece.

It was good. Scratch that, it was brilliant. Yuuri was hardly a fan of New Historicism, a literary theory that focused on studying the time period and culture the piece was written in using primary sources from the time such as diaries, but even he had to admit it was a compelling argument. In it, Dr. Nikiforov once again put forth a brilliant new read of the play Hamlet based on the idea that Hamlet’s father was in purgatory. It was incredibly well researched and the prose seemed to flow forth effortlessly. Yuuri had found himself turning page after page with eager anticipation at what lay ahead. He was never disappointed. For every claim made there was another source to back it up. All of it was very thorough, not leaving a stone unturned. 

While it had been an absolute joy to read, Yuuri’s heart ached at the thought of the life he had left behind. He knew how to find those sources, the late nights spent up on Early English Books Online (EEBO) searching for primary sources, and then the even later nights spent trying to decipher what it meant. All the times spent vetting sources, scouring the databases for anything. The frustrating search for the right terms to plug into the search engines, the joy when you finally found the right words and phrases. Yuuri missed going up and down the aisles, looking, searching for that bit of information that would prove him right.

He missed it all of it, all the moments of strife and all the moments of success.

But there was no going back now. He simply hadn’t been accepted due to the large volume of competitive applicants that year. Sure, he could try to apply again but that meant having to admit he failed the first time and Yuuri was certainly not ready to face the pressures and scrutiny of the academic world again. 

As much as he wanted to be Dr. Nikiforov’s academic peer, to be on the same level as that brilliant man, he wasn’t. 

He looked down at the blue and silver can, remembering it being the drink of choice back in his days as an undergrad and then grad student. It still tasted like procrastination and panic. He gulped it down nonetheless and prayed for some kind of motivation to get to cleaning the shop. 

Yuuri got to it, choosing to first focus on dusting the shelves, when his phone buzzed. It was Phitchit, his best friend and former room mate. 

He and Phitchit went way back. They had met during orientation their freshman year and had been close every since. Phitchit was an interesting scholar. He focused on the Fantasy genre and was often recommending Yuuri shows, books, and even fanfiction. Last he had heard, Phitchit was attending a conference with the paper he had recently authored on Firefly. Yuuri had a lot of respect for his friend; he was good at what he did and very passionate about it. It seemed the man always had a new paper topic and was always working on something. How he managed to be such a dedicated student and a social butterfly, Yuuri would never know. Phitchit knew just about everyone in the English department when they were undergrads which carried over when they both decided to continue on with their Masters. 

Yuuri checked his phone, the message being from Phitchit.

When were you going to tell me??? Nikiforov the great is holding a book signing at ur place jfc man!!

Yuuri smiled. He should have known Phitchit would find out, he knew everyone in the academic circles after all. 

He typed back a quick response before going back to half heartedly dusting.

To be fair, I only found out yesterday. I’m still in shock myself.

Three dots appeared, indicating that Phitchit was typing a response, right after he hit the send button. Typical, Yuuri thought to himself. Phitchit had always been glued to his phone. 

Soon enough, a new message popped up,

How you manage to be so oblivious in real life and such an observant scholar I will honestly never know.

Yuuri groaned. He wasn’t a scholar, not anymore. He gave the life of academics up for the life of a simple store manager. He hated when Phitchit brought it up. He knew his friend wanted him back in the academic realm once again. There had been many pep talks given by him to Yuuri, trying to convince him that he could just apply next year and that it wasn’t unheard of to not get in on the first try.

Despite his friend’s kind words, he still felt like a failure and wasn’t keen on being reminded. He typed up a response.

I told you I’m not a scholar, I never was. Besides, it’s not like I ever wrote anything good anyways.

He knew Phitchit would have a field day with that one. A minute later he got his next response.

Says the man who got published in Shakespeare Quarterly when he was 21. Right, even Nikiforov didn’t get published in there until he got his masters. 

As much as he hated to admit it, he was right. Four years ago he had worked his ass off on a piece regarding fertility in Macbeth and had managed to get it published, to the astonishment of both himself and his peers. It was a really remarkable feat. Shakespeare Quarterly was one of the best peer reviewed journals out there. 

I mean yah, but I couldn’t get into a PhD program. Besides it doesn't even matter, it’s not like I’m going to talk to the guy. He’s Dr. Viktor Nikiforov.

As much as Yuuri would love nothing more than to question the man with some of his thoughts as to his most recent publication, he knew that he couldn’t possibly be on the same level as the famous academic. His phone buzzed.

Like hell you aren’t going to talk to him. For fuck’s sake man you’ve been pining after the man for years. Come on, just talk to him he’s a person too yah know.

Yuuri blushed, putting his phone down, refusing to look at the message again. He refused to admit that he had any other feelings for the man other than admiration, no matter how much his friends suggested to the contrary. His phone buzzed twice in rapid succession.

I know you don’t want to admit it, for whatever reason.

Just talk to him ok? 

Turning back to cleaning, Yuuri ignored the occasional buzzing of his phone, focusing instead on the tasks ahead. The Red Bull helped a bit, but he couldn’t seem to shake off the tiredness gripping his limbs. He decided it was best to put on some music as no one was really in the shop. It was a weekday morning after all. 

Taking a look around, Yuuri could see how much he had to do. The tall mismatched shelves reached the ceiling, and there were still plenty that needed dusting yet. Besides that there were numerous antique wing back chairs that were scattered throughout the shop that needed some form of cleaning and a couch that needed to drenched in Febreeze. The large chandelier that hung in the main reading area where the large couch was needed to be dusted as well. Although, due to the high ceilings, Yuuri would need a ladder. There was also the problem of space, and some rearranging would have to be done in order to fit everyone in. Yuuri just hoped he had enough time to figure out how to fit all those people in. Besides all the cleaning that needed to be done, he had to stack all the books in various parts of the store in some sort of display. The whole point of this was to sell the books after all. 

He began placing them around the store, a little reminder that no matter where he was Viktor Nikiforov was going to be there in only a few short days and Yuuri was wholly unprepared. 

Yuuri pushed his glasses up, trying to garner strength for the numeros tasks ahead. He took a deep breath before heading towards the closet to get the vacuum cleaner out. As he was reaching up to grab the door handle he heard the familiar jingle of the bell above the door. Yuuri turned and glanced over his shoulder, checking who it could be. The long brown hair and elegant posture told him that it was in fact one of his closest friends and most ardent supporters. Dr. Minako Okukawa was a well known, and well respected, English professor who taught at a nearby private institution. She was well respected and focused mainly on composition and rhetoric. When Yuuri was younger he had spent much time in Minako’s tutelage honing his writing skills. 

She was a graceful and fearless woman who carried herself with all the poise of a professional. 

“Yuuri!” she called out, pausing just in front of the checkout counter. She wore her usual well fitting pants suit, her hair pin straight falling down to her shoulders. Minako looked every inch of the Ivy League scholar she was. 

“Yes?” he responded, appearing from the back of the shop.

“There you are! I’ve been trying to get a hold of you. Did you hear the rumor that Viktor’s coming to the shop?” 

“Yah, um, about that,” Yuuri stammered coming to the front counter.

“What do you mean ‘about that’? He’s coming, isn’t he?” Minako asked, her piercing gaze falling on him.

“He is,” Yuuri admitted, his gaze cast downward, afraid to make eye contact. 

“Oh my God. What on Earth, why? Why would one of the leading Shakespeareans come here? And more importantly, why haven’t you told me anything?” she asked.

“To be fair I just found out yesterday,” Yuuri replied.

“I suppose. But still, you could have texted me at least,” she pointed out.

“Yes. I mean ,I was up all last night reading his new work. It’s good, even though it’s more New Historicist stuff,” he said holding up his copy. The spine of it was worn even though he had only purchased it yesterday. Sticky notes stuck out brightly from in between the pages. In addition, some pages were dog eared and there appeared to be a tea stain on the front. 

She made a small noise of disapproval, “I don’t know why all of his new work is centered around it. You know I’ve never been a fan of it myself. Great you’re adding context to it, but it’s hardly ever provable.” 

“True, but it could be worse. He could be using Freud,” Yuuri stated, saying Freud with clear distaste.

“Fuck Freud. I swear if I read another piece about a dad secretly wanting to screw his daughter, I’m gonna vomit,” she said, rolling her eyes.

Yuuri laughed. He had missed this, discussing ideas with his peers in an easy conversation. 

“Anyways, what are you gonna do about this Yuuri? You’ve idolized him since you were an undergrad and now is your chance,” Minako said, becoming more serious.

Yuuri looked down at the book resting on the counter. He just wanted to disappear. He felt like such a failure compared to Dr. Nikiforov. How could Yuuri hope to talk to him when they weren’t even on the same level? Maybe if he was working on his doctorate, then maybe he’d feel more confident, but he hadn’t even made it that far. 

“I don’t know,” he muttered, refusing to make eye contact.

“Yuuri, you’ve wanted to meet him for years now. I know you’re worried you aren’t on the same level as him, but you are. Listen, a lousy piece of paper doesn’t mean anything. Your theoretical application is great and your papers are so creative, not to mention your smooth writing. You are on the same level of him, PhD or no,.” Minako said, trying to convince her pupil. She knew Yuuri struggled with the fact he’d gotten rejected. It seemed almost all of his friends were busy getting their doctorate at various prestigious schools and Yuuri was just working at a small bookstore in the middle of nowhere. 

“Minako--” he began.

“No, I know you. I know you’re going to try and hide. Just promise you’ll try to talk to him. Please?” she pleaded. Minako had known Yuuri since he was 16. She knew what Viktor meant to him. She also knew about his social anxiety and rock bottom self confidence. 

“Fine,” Yuuri said. He knew better than anyone it was impossible to win an argument against Minako. She had gotten her PhD, after all, and arguing with her always seemed to be futile. That, and generally Minako was right about things, so Yuuri tended to follow her advice the majority of the time. 

“I should be running back to the University now, I have a class on theoretical application to teach and some research to do. I’ll talk to you later alright,” Minako said.

“Of course, I’ll see you Saturday then?” Yuuri asked.

“Absolutely, someone has to get you to talk to Viktor,” she said over her shoulder as she left. 

Yuuri sighed, deciding to simply focus on the tasks ahead. 

The rest of the morning was quiet, with few people flitting in and out. He focused on cleaning and organizing, unwilling to think of what he could possibly say to the man who had served as his inspiration for a number of years. 

He took his lunch and tried to focus on his favorite show on Netflix, but found his thoughts kept returning to famous scholar and his heart shaped smile. Viktor had always intrigued Yuuri and it seemed like a dream that he would be there in a few days. He’d always been so untouchable, so far away and almost unreal. Yuuri sighed, closing his laptop and deciding it’d be best just to get back to work.

The rest of the day seemed to drag on, with few customers. There had been a snowstorm a few days ago, as was common in this part of Connecticut, and so the small town had yet to be fully cleared. Yuuri’s family had moved here from Japan when he was still young in order to run a local Japanese restaurant where his sister still worked. It wasn’t far from the shop, just down a couple streets. He didn’t live with them anymore as he could afford rent. He lived alone in a small studio apartment above the bookshop. Every couple weeks he’d head down to Boston to see all of his old friends from school, as most were attending graduate school in the city. While it was always great to see them, those visits were always bittersweet as he always was left wondering what if? 

For the most part, Yuuri spent his free time reading and binging all the shows he had to put aside in order to study and write papers. He was currently on Doctor Who, catching up on Matt Smith’s last season as the Doctor. It was a lonely existence at times, and vastly different to the high intensity life he had lived previously. There were many times Yuuri seemed to miss the hustle and bustle of being a full time student and feeling the weight of the deadlines. It had a been a high pressure environment, but it one was in which he thrived.

Still, it was nice to actually relax and catch up on the things he had missed. Although there were many times Yuuri was tempted to log on and catch up on everything he had missed, the pain of rejection was still fresh and kept him away from the world he had once been apart of.  
____

With so much to do the next few days passed in a blur and before he knew it, Yuuri found himself waking up early on Saturday morning to the light streaming in through his bedroom window. He groaned as his alarm continued to go off. Yuuri was not much looking forward to today’s events.

His studio apartment was sparsely decorated, with only a couch, TV and a bed. There was a poster of the Globe Theatre hanging on one wall and some family photos tacked up, but other than that the apartment was baren. An old couch sat in the middle of the room facing an old flat screen propped up by the Harry Potter series. The bookstore didn’t pay him much and whatever money had he typically spent, which was apparent as stacks of books lining the far wall. A chest of drawers was standing against the foot of his bed. There was a small kitchen with a fridge and microwave behind the sofa. Overall, it was a decent enough place for a good price, and Yuuri wasn’t one to complain.

Yuuri rolled over and turned off his alarm, pushing down the plaid comforter and getting up, albeit slowly. He rummaged through his drawers trying to find something suitable to wear. He pulled out a simple grey button down and a pair of slightly worn jeans. Coupled with his tennis shoes, it made for a semi-professional looking outfit while still looking relaxed enough. Deciding to do something with his hair, he ran a brush through it, styling it slightly with some water from the sink. He sighed and looked in the mirror over the sink.

He wore his usual glasses with the simply blue frames that he’d had since he was 16 and his hair looked better than it usually did. The shirt could have stood be be ironed but it’s not like Yuuri had one so it would just have to do. Deciding it might look better tucked in he went in search of a belt, which turned to be fruitless. Sighing, Yuuri took one last look in the mirror before grabbing a Red Bull from the fridge and heading downstairs, phone in hand.

He wasn’t quite sure when Dr. Nikiforov would arrive. Mr. Jones had given him few details to go off of. When they had talked, he had gone off on some tangent about what his life was like growing up instead of providing pertinent details. Yuuri assumed it would be like the previous book signings, with the author showing up around 9 and at 10 the shop would open to the public. Dr. Nikiforov would talk to the crowd for about an hour about his work and then everyone would line up to get their copy signed. He would sign books until around 12:30 and the shop would close around 1, it being a weekend. Yuuri hoped it went off without a hitch so he could return to the Doctor and Clara’s latest adventures as quickly as possible.

The shop was quiet when he entered, and he had about 45 minutes until Dr. Nikiforov should arrive. He set about making sure everything was set up. Setting up a table where he could sign the books and speak and moving things around to create some space for the patrons. 

He became engrossed in his work and didn’t hear the jingle of the bell above the door. However, Yuuri couldn’t ignore the distinctly Russian voice.

“Hello?” the familiar voice called.

Yuuri’s head shot up, his heart beating faster. He made his way through the maze of book stacks. His heart was in his throat and he could begin to feel the nervousness creep in. He came through the romance section and there stood Dr. Viktor Nikiforov.

He was dressed impeccably. He wore a long tan coat buttoned up to ward off the winter chill, his hair was a bit windswept and a delicate blush graced his pale features. His mouth was curved up into his famous heart shaped smile, and his blue green eyes shone.

“Hi. I-I’m Yuuri Katuski,” Yuuri managed to stammer out, completely awestruck by the dashing man.

“Ah! So good to meet you Yuuri. I’m Dr. Nikiforov,” he replied, taking off his jacket and hanging it on the nearby old, wooden coat rack. Under the no doubt expensive and designer coat he wore a crisp white shirt with a well fitted charcoal vest over it and an expensive looking black satin tie. His sleeves were rolled up exposing toned, pale, forearms. He was wearing fitting black pants that hugged his long legs perfectly.

Yuuri thought he had died and gone to heaven.

“Yes, ah, well. Um, we should probably make sure everything’s good to go since we open to the general public in an hour,” Yuuri managed to stammer out looking at anything but the handsome professor standing in front of him. 

“Yes, of course!” Viktor exclaimed, clapping his hands together. He looked around as Yuuri got to work. 

“Can I help at all? I didn’t know what to bring so I hope you don’t mind I just bought myself,” Viktor continued unsure of how to proceed. 

Yuuri looked up, gaping at the man. Viktor Nikiforov, the top Shakespearean known for his extensive knowledge of both the time period and the text, had shown up to a book signing without a single thing, not even a pen to sign the damn books.

“I mean, I could just use a hand making sure the books are properly positioned and setting up some displays,” Yuuri said, gesturing to the poster board that had pictures of the book and Viktor himself on it. 

“Yes, yes, of course!” Viktor said, coming over to help.

He looked confusedly at the boards and the books.

“Just set up the tripods that we’ll be putting the posters on. They’re right by the side of the table, the black things,” Yuuri instructed, motioning to where they lay.

They worked in silence for a few moments as Yuuri finished stacking some books on the desk and placing a pen to use to sign, since Viktor had forgotten one. When he turned around he saw that Viktor had failed to set up even one tripod and was attempting to wrangle the devices into a standing position.

Yuuri was beginning to wonder how this man had gotten a PhD.

“Here,” Yuuri offered sensing Viktor’s confusion, “why don’t you go get some coffee and I’ll finish setting up.When you get back we’ll go over the schedule again and any questions you might have. Sound good?”

Viktor nodded, relinquishing the battle between himself and the tripod. 

“What would you like then?” Viktor asked.

“It doesn’t really matter, there’s some money on the counter Mr. Jones left for some donuts if you could pick about two dozen up that’d be great,” Yuuri said, getting to work on assembling the tripods Viktor had seemed absolutely confounded by.

Viktor nodded before heading out the door. 

“It’s to the right and just a couple places down,” Yuuri called out after him remembering that Viktor wasn’t from around the area. 

The professor returned in 15 minutes with donuts and coffee, partially covered in snow. Yuuri had forgotten there had been a chance they would get a snow storm this weekend and he immediately looked out the store’s front window to see the area coated in freshly fallen snow. Fat snowflakes fell from the sky at a fast pace that made it almost impossible to see across the street. 

This was not good. 

“It’s getting quite bad out there,” Viktor said, putting the donuts down and handing Yuuri his coffee.

“I didn’t even notice to be honest, a bad habit of mine,” Yuuri said, staring out the window, wondering what would become of today’s signing. He doubted many people would show up as the roads would most likely be a mess. He sighed, choosing to sip his coffee and let it warm him up.

“Ah, yes, I can be quite dense as well. My colleagues always say they wonder how I can function outside of the academic world,” Viktor laughed, coming to stand next to Yuuri to watch the snow fall. 

“My friends used to say the same thing about me,” he replied, smiling at the memories.

“Really? When you’re working?” Viktor asked.

Yuuri regretted his prior choice of words as he flushed in embarrassment. Here he was thinking he could be on the same intellectual level as Dr. Nikiforov.

“I...I used to go to school for Renaissance Literature. Just finished up my masters a year ago,” he managed to stammer out.

Viktor’s eyebrows shot up and he turned to look at him.  
“Really? What’d you specialize in? Did you ever publish?” he asked, his interest suddenly piqued.

“I did a lot with Shakespeare’s later works, especially the the Tempest and Macbeth. I...uh...published a piece in Shakespeare Quarterly when I was 21,” he stammered out, hoping it was enough.

“Wow,” Viktor said, impressed. “What was the publication on?”

“Fertility in Macbeth in terms of primogeniture and natural order,” Yuuri said, his gaze cast down.

“Really, what approach did you use then? Gender theory?” Dr. Nikiforov pressed on.

“Uh no,” Yuuri said. “I used mostly primary sources although I used mainly Marxism.”

“I’ve read that one, it was really good,” Viktor said, studying Yuuri for a moment in disbelief.

“I should probably call Mr. Jones and ask him what to do. It looks pretty bad out there. I’m not sure many people will be able to brave the snow to make it,” Yuuri explained as he left to head back to the counter to make the call.

Viktor watched him leave in amazement. Was this Yuuri really the one that had written such an excellent piece? It made sense, while the piece was good it lacked a clear and confident voice. The writer had addressed previous critics who had disagreed with his points, but the engagement with them seemed less about contradicting them and putting forth his own ideas and more about just discussing his points. He remembered thinking the piece needed a much clearer and confident voice.

Not only was this young man a bright scholar, but Viktor couldn’t deny the attraction he felt to him. Yuuri was simply gorgeous with his big brown eyes and pale pink lips. He certainly felt drawn to the man, wanting to know more.

Yuuri came back within a few minutes, cutting Viktor’s train of thoughts short.

“Mr. Jones agrees we might not get many people. He said it’d be fine to just continue the event and if no one shows up we can leave earlier. It’s no big deal,” Yuuri explained.

Viktor smiled, “Well if it’s going to be just us we should probably get to know each other better, no?”

Yuuri blushed at that. Viktor greatly enjoyed the sight. 

“Um, sure. I mean I’m not terribly interesting I just spend most of my time working here,” Yuuri responded.

“Is that it? I don’t really believe that, not from someone who published in Shakespeare Quarterly at such a young age. Have you published anything recently?” he asked.

Yuuri hated the direction in which this conversation was heading. Soon he’d be forced to admit to his failure to get into grad school. Worst still, he’d have to admit it to Dr. Nikiforov. Yuuri didn’t think he could handle the man’s disappointment.

“No, I’ve just been working here a lot. Trying to figure what I want to do with my life,” Yuuri said.

Viktor nodded, personally, he had always known he was going to be a scholar when he had published his work quite young and had flown through the programs. Once he’d entered his doctoral program he had known there was no heading back.

“Have you thought about going to get your doctorate?” Viktor asked innocently enough.

Whomp, there it is, Yuuri thought to himself. The one topic he had hoped to avoid and Viktor had brought it up within an hour of his arrival. It figured.

“I’ve been thinking about it, saving up some money and considering my options, yah know?” Yuuri said, trying to hide his failure.

With that Yuuri got up and began to shift things around, noticing that they would be open in about ten minutes.

Viktor wasn’t oblivious to this, noticing Yuuri’s discomfort talking about his studies, even though he clearly showed promise. He was perplexed. Many of the people he knew would brag about being published in such a prestigious journal so young. Viktor couldn’t help but wonder what had happened. Surely if Yuuri was that dedicated to his studies he would have absolutely been considering continuing his studies.

Yuuri doubted anyone would show up, but he couldn’t stand to talk about academics with Dr. Nikiforov for a second longer. It’s like the man had a natural skill in finding and pointing out Yuuri’s biggest insecurities.  
____

Despite the snowstorm, a few people managed to show up so Yuuri wasn’t stuck completely alone in the book store with just Dr. Nikiforov, but it was still a bit too intimate for his comfort. Throughout the entire event he had caught the older man glancing at him out of the corner of his eyes. It seemed Dr. Nikiforov’s gaze was fixed to him throughout the event, following him wherever he went. Yuuri couldn't understand why and took every chance to hide in the back of the shop rearranging and cleaning the bookshelves while Viktor effortlessly charmed the crowd. From his hiding place Yuuri could calm his racing heart and collect his scattered thoughts.

Eventually though, he had to come out of hiding as the guests began to leave in order to try and get home before the storm worsesned. Peaking out from behind the book stack ever so slighting, Yuuri could see Viktor thanking a younger girl for coming. A warmth spread from his chest as he watched her clutch her book tightly and nod her head excitedly. 

Viktor laughed.

Yuuri sank back against the shelf, what was he thinking? Viktor Nikiforov was out of his league. Sure, Yuuri had had a little crush on him all these years, but he couldn’t possibly be entertaining it, this was Viktor after all. He was way out of Yuuri’s league. Stuffing his feelings down, he began to clean up in order to close up the shop as the last patrons filed out. 

Glancing outside and realizing that the snow was coming down harder now Yuuri realized that Viktor should probably head home before it became worse. There was already around five inches of snow on the ground and they were predicting eight tops. 

“Where are you staying?” Yuuri asked.

“The Marriott, I believe. The one in town was full for a wedding”

Yuuri sighed. Of course that just had to be the hotel in the next town over, a 20 minute drive in regular weather that would now be impossible with such a heavy and thick snowfall. Naturally, Viktor would have to stay with him.

“The roads will be impossible to drive tonight with all of this snow, especially since they’re mostly backraods. You can stay at my place if you want. Fair warning it’s a bit of a mess though.” Yuuri said continuing to clean up.

“Oh, thank you. I didn’t even realize how bad it was getting. We’re used to a lot of snow in Russia but I forgot that it’s hard getting around in America when there’s so much.” 

Yuuri pushed his glasses up his nose, “It’s no problem really. There’s a small cafe right across the street we can stop at for lunch if you don’t mind braving the weather for a minute or so.”

“It’s no problem, I grew up in Russia I’m used to the snow.” He explained easily.

After a few more moments of Yuuri cleaning up they braved the weather, trudging across the street to the small cafe. Yuuri had been there plenty of times for lunch, they had excellent panini’s with fresh ingredients and great smoothies as well. 

The cafe was small, the walls were exposed brick with portraits of various people and places hanging on the walls. The chairs and tables were all mismatched in an artistic manner and mason jars with fresh daisies sat on the tables. They went up and ordered, Yuuri recommending his favorite strawberry and banana smoothie. Being the only ones in the cafe they had pick of the tables, choosing a table by the front to see the storm. 

“So how’d you end up in this small town with a masters in Renaissance Literature, it must be quite the story.” Viktor asked the younger man. 

“It’s not all that interesting.” He said flushing a bit. “Needed a bit of a break from the stresses of the academic world. This is my hometown and when I heard that Mr. Jones was looking for someone to help run the store I applied and here I am.”

“Ah, I understand. It can be so stressful at times. There’s so much pressure to be putting out new high quality work. It’s draining. It must be nice though, to run such a cute little book store.”

“It is.” Yuuri agreed, smiling a bit. “I basically get to sort through new and old books every day, and in the time there’s nothing to do I get to read them. It’s nice, I feel like I haven’t read anything for leisure since my freshman year of my undergrad.”

“Read anything good recently? I have a bit more time to read now that I’m not actually writing a book.”

“Well, I’ve been reading a lot of Neil Gaiman recently. I’ve been really enjoying his stuff so far. I’ve also been trying to work my way through Game of Thrones, which has been no easy task.” Yuuri responded. Oddly enough, he found Dr. Nikiforov easy to talk to. The conversation flowed easily, talking about their surprising amount of similar interests. It turned out Viktor was a bit of a closet nerd which only served to endear Yuuri more to the man. They talked about their travels, Yuuri being from Japan and Vitkor being from Russia.

They talked for what seemed to be hours, time flying by as they discussed their mutual interests and the academic world. The pair were lost in the conversation, laughing with ease and basking in the other’s presence. 

All too soon it seemed the cafe was closing and the pair were forced to trek through the deep snow to get back to Yuuri’s apartment.

“Sorry it’s a bit messy, if i would have known I was having a guest over I would have tidied up a bit more.” Yuuri said sheepishly as he unlocked the door.

It was hardly even close to a mess. Viktor was starting to notice Yuuri had a tendency to devalue himself and he couldn’t help but wonder why. Surely the man must know how utterly gorgeous he was, as well as being well read and learned. On top of that, the man had a bit of a nerdy streak that struck Viktor straight through the heart. 

“I was thinking for dinner I could make Katsudon, it’s an old family recipe I was going to make anyways. Have you ever had it?” Yuuri asked

“No, I can’t say I have though I’d love to try it. I tend to just eat whatever I can get my hands on, although I love trying new things.” Viktor replied.

They chatted amicably while Yuuri got to making dinner, Viktor trying not to focus too much on the man lest he make him uncomfortable. It was hard though, there was just something about Yuuri that brought forth his natural curiosity. He always wanted to know more, and the way Yuuri tended to wall himself up and give half answers confused and intrigued him. He was the kind of person that people tended to naturally open themselves up to, but Yuuri seemed secretive and he couldn’t help but feel intrigued.

Dinner was delicious and Viktor praised Yuuri’s cooking, making the younger man blush which tugged at his heartstrings. They chatted about various mutual friends and their own lives. Viktor talked a lot about his beloved dog Makkachin, even bringing his phone out to show the hundreds of pictures he had of his adorable companion. Somewhere in the conversation the topic turned to drinking and before they knew it they had both consumed several bottles of beer. It then turned to vodka and cokes and before they knew it, Yuuri was significantly drunk and Viktor was a little tipsy.

“Viktor, can I call you that? It’s so pretty.” Yuuri slurred, his head falling onto the older man’s shoulder.

“Of course, I like when you say my name. It sounds nice.” He said, enjoying their closeness.

“Ok. Cause you’re so smart and good at stuff and I’m just not.” Yuuri said.

“What?” Viktor said shocked “You’re so smart Yuuri. You should really go for your Ph.D. You’d be a great scholar.” 

“You wanna hear a secret?” He replied, swaying back and forth a bit.

“Only if you want to tell me.”

“I did. Apply. You know for um, grad school. But a few days before my writing sample was due my dog died. Vicchan. I wasn’t there. I missed it ‘cause I was at school and my phone-it was on silent ‘cause I was studying. It wasn’t good enough and I didn’t get in. I-I wanted to though. I love it all. All of it, and I miss it.” Yuuri explained.

Viktor was a little shocked, he had known Yuuri was good enough to get into a top school but this confirmed it. 

An idea sprang into his head. Maybe he could help Yuuri, help him refine his papers and be the scholar he dreamed of being. Viktor was sure he wasn’t too far away from his goal, perhaps all he needed was some gentle encouragement and a guiding hand. Although he could hardly ignore the fact he also just wanted an excuse to be close to him. He had grown quite attached to Yuuri throughout the course of the day. 

“Viktor, be my mentor.” He slurred looking up in his eyes.

And Viktor fell, hook line, and sinker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First off, Viktor's writing style is based off of Stephen Greenblatt who's very well known in the field, especially for New Historicism. Personally, it's my preferred theoretical approach (because I'm a massive history nerd). Anyways, Hamlet in Purgatory was written by him and it's something I really recommend, even if you're new to critical pieces. Unlike a lot of scholarly work which can only be found on databases, which you gotta pay way too much for, you can find it in most bookstores so if you're interested I recommend it. It puts forth some interesting ideas and points and is just generally a good scholarly work that's more accessible than most pieces.
> 
> So Shakespeare Quarterly is a really respected publication and one of the top Shakespeare publications. I'm working on a piece that I'm thinking of submitting but I just don't have the time to really dedicate to it (I'm not a Shakespearean but I've written so many damn papers because literally everyone I know is). That said, to publish it when you're in your early 20's is quite an accomplishment as usually only respected scholars do and that's when they're older. It's kind of a big deal and would have helped him launch a really successful career.
> 
> Like most of the really successful academics I know, I imagine Viktor being brilliant at what he does but being super oblivious is other aspects of his life. Each academic has a kind of quirk and I imagine Viktor being really observant when it comes to the text but being generally oblivious and disorganized and forgetful.
> 
> My poor babe Yuuri! So getting into masters you need GRE scores but basically the most important thing when getting into a doctorate program is your writing sample, at least for specific programs in the English field. Your grades matter too, but that's what it often comes down to. Plus, when you go for your doctorate you're specific so the paper needs to really showcase your skills. There's a ton of different specializations under the general heading of an "English" program and it changes from school to school. But because he didn't provide a good enough sample he didn't make it in (literally my worst fear). He could use a piece he wrote for a class but often that isn't either good enough or it's not on your focus. Basically, you have to demonstrate your prowess in your specific area. Take it from me it's one of the most stressful things because your future is riding on this one paper.
> 
> The story takes place in a small town outside of Hartford Connecticut since I wanted a place that was close to Boston because that's where all the big universities are (and I just love the area). Granted I know there are some good Ren. programs down South but no thanks, not a big fan of the South. 
> 
> I hope that clarifies some questions you guys might have had, but feel free to ask me more!


	2. Wisely and Slowly

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Wisely and Slowly; they stumble that run fast."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I got a lot of really wonderful comments so I figured why not. I might be updating pretty irregularly though due to school and the fact I have a bunch of important things on the horizon. Real adult things. Crazy right?
> 
> I'll try to update weekly, but who knows how that will go. You can check my tumblr for updates the link is at the bottom.
> 
> Anyways I hope everyone enjoys this chapter and, again, you can scroll to the end notes for some Shakespeare goodness!
> 
> Huge thanks to my friends Jordan and Kelsey for helping me out and reading through it. You guys are the real MVPs.

It all felt like a dream he never wanted to wake up from. Viktor asleep on the floor, grey hair falling gracefully around his face. His eyes were closed and his breathing shallow. A faint blush crept up Yuuri’s cheeks, the tips of his ears turning an endearing shade of red. 

Later, Yuuri would say it was the moment he began to fall in love. 

Still, with Makkachin asleep in his arms, Viktor looked like the pinnacle of peace. This left Yuuri to reflect on recent events. He didn’t like to think too much on when Viktor left, he was not one for admitting the deep sadness that had blossomed within him when he had woken to find himself alone in his appartment. 

Yuuri had replayed that day a thousand times, trying to figure what he had said wrong. It had been easy for the creeping thoughts of self doubt to make their way to the fore front of his mind and take over. It had been a dark few weeks remembering the curl of Viktor’s smile. The way he threw his head back when he laughed. The gentle Russian accent that by the end of the day seemed so familiar he wondered how he had ever managed to live without it. Yuuri sank into the familiar depths of depression not even caring if he ever emerged. 

And then he was back.

The familiar accent was like music to his ears as Viktor stated his intentions to help him get his Ph.D. His accent was thicker, as if he had been in Russia the whole time. His smile was brighter this time, he looked so much happier. Yuuri didn’t dare let himself think it had anything to do with him.

Things had changed, for the better or worse, and nothing was going to be the same again.  
_______  
He had forgotten to leave a note. 

The entire way to the airport Viktor could only scold himself internally. It was typical of the older man though, as much of a genius as he was, he was forgetful and tended to be a bit of an air head on occasion. Still, he hadn’t wanted to just leave but he knew he had things to do now that everything was so crystal clear. 

He couldn’t remember the last time he had been this happy. His whole body felt light, free even, and suddenly nothing mattered. The deadlines for papers, the editing he had to do all seemed to fall out of his thoughts as if they had never even been there in the first place. His mind was far too preoccupied with a certain Japanese bookstore manager. Viktor couldn’t quite believe his luck, the man was far too precious for words and he had fallen for him at once. Naturally, when Yuuri suggested he be his mentor Viktor jumped at the chance. He looked forward to working with such a talented young man. It would also give him an opportunity to learn more about the mysterious man who so enthralled him. 

That night while a little buzzed Viktor had stumbled upon the outline research for a paper the man had been working on. To say it was brilliant would be doing it a great injustice. Viktor was blown away by what he read, surely Yuuri should be in a doctorate program with this level of quality work. He had known the man was a good scholar, especially when he realized he had authored a wonderful piece previously. This however had great potential and not just for publication, but for his dissertation. 

It had set the wheels in Viktor’s mind turning and slowly an idea had formed. He could take up a position at a local college and help Yuuri get accepted to a grad school, there were plenty of good ones around, he would have to resign his position in St Petersburg but that was hardly a problem. Besides, it had been a long time since Viktor had truly enjoyed the city. Coming home to an empty apartment each night took it’s toll, except for Makkachin, Viktor didn’t have anyone super close to him and there was an underlying sense of loneliness surrounding his life in the city. 

The entire cab ride to the airport he had thought of all the possibilities. He wouldn’t deny the fact that while he chose Yuuri because of his keen intellect, he hoped their relationship wouldn’t be purely academic in nature. Warm brown eyes that glimmered like the evening stars dominated his thoughts and brought a delicate blush to his cheeks. How oucl he not fall for a man so brilliant and so attractive? For once there was hope in his heart, not just a dull throbbing. There were so many questions he had for Yuuri, but perhaps the one he wanted to answer too most he knew he could never ask. Why was Yuuri so insecure?

It showed in his writing. When he engaged with the critics in his piece it was clear his thoughts were in opposition to theirs be he never outright challenged them. He needed to be more confident, to assert his ideas firmly and, more importantly, stand by them. Although he wondered what had made the man so insecure he knew he couldn’t ask, he’d have to find out himself. As absent minded as he was, Viktor was really observant and he was confident that, with time, he would figure it out. He wanted to help Yuuri become the scholar he knew he could be, and if he happened to get closer to him along the way that would just be a wonderful bonus.

His conversation with Yakov could have been better, he knew his mentor would likely not take the news well. It was him, after all, that Viktor had to thank for getting him this far in his career. How many papers had Yakov proofread and how many countless hours had they spent pouring over resources together. Viktor had a lot to thank Yakov for, he knew that. But the man wouldn’t take Viktor’s independence in stride, that much he knew. 

Yakov confronted him after he had cleared out his office, shipping his possessions to Connecticut. 

“Vitya, what do you think you’re doing?” Viktor heard being called at him. He turned to face the familiar voice, snowflakes beginning to fall. 

“You know it was only a matter of time.” He replied. His cashmere scarf blew gently in the breeze. 

They were standing on a bridge, the moon rising up over them.

“You can’t leave, not now.”

Viktor gave the man a sad smile before walking towards him. 

“Dasvidanya.” He said before turning and walking away, leaving Yakov stunned behind him.

However, he only got a few steps before he realized he needed a lift to the airport. Yakov would, of course, have to drive him.

So here he was then, asleep on Yuuri’s parents’ floor cuddling his beloved poodle to his chest. He felt at peace, as if the crazy world around him had stopped spinning, even if just for a moment. 

Yuuri, on the other hand, felt his world turning at a million miles an hour. Why would Viktor choose him? Multiple sources confirmed Viktor wouldn’t be publishing at all this year, and maybe not even editing any collections. He was rumored to be taking a year off to help a younger protege.

Yuuri could scarcely believe that was him. The scholar he had looked up his whole life was asleep on his floor cuddling his adorable poodle.

Suddenly Viktor sneeze, causing him to wake up. He sat up, clearly a bit groggy from his nap. 

“Food?” He murmured, rubbing his eyes and clutching Makkachin closer.

Yuuri stared, wide eyed.

“Um, sure. What, would you like?” He said staring at the man.

Viktor paused to think for a moment, considering something. 

“Well, what’s your favorite food?” Viktor asked, looking at the younger man.

Yuuri couldn’t speak. His tongue seemed heavy all of a second and his thoughts were flying at a million miles an hour. 

“He likes Katsudon, pork cutlet bowls, the best.” Mari, Yuuri’s older sister stated cutting through the awkward silence. 

“I’ll try one of those then, thanks.” He said, smiling.

Yuuri blushed, looking downwards. They had talked endlessly last time, so why did he suddenly feel so shy? Maybe it was the fact that Yuuri knew, this time, he was going to stay. He didn’t let people in, and he was scared of what Viktor would think once he let him in. Yuuri knew himself to be a fraud, not the person, nor the scholar, that everyone expected him to be, he was just faking it and sooner or later someone would find out. 

“You know when I was a grad student going for my masters I used to spend all my money at this take out place. They had the best sushi it was always so fresh. I’ve missed it, maybe next semester you can show me your favorite places?” Viktor asked trying to break Yuuri free from the thoughts clearly troubling him.

Viktor had begun to notice that when Yuuri became entrenched in negative thoughts, his face would cloud over and his gaze would become distant. 

“Ah, sure. I’m not a super big fan of sushi myself.”

Viktor’s face fell a bit, maybe he’d misread the situation.

“But you know, I really love Thai food and my friend Phitchit knows all the good places to eat. We could try some of his recommendations. He’s been trying to get me to go to this hot pot place for a while now.” Yuuri tried.

“That sounds great! We have about a month to get this paper to top form before applications are due. After that we can register you for some summer courses, maybe get you an assistantship. I’ve got it, you can be my TA! It’ll be great, I’ll speak to the head of the department about it.” Dr. Nikiforov said enthusiastically.

“You have a teaching job already? Where?” Yuuri asked, a bit confused. Viktor had only arrived this morning, suit cases and all, and had declared that he would help Yuuri get into graduate school and finally get his Doctorate. 

“Mhm, the same school you’ll be applying to actually. I figure we can work together, it’ll be great. I hear Harvard has excellent libraries and resources. It’s a good American school I hear.” Viktor casually replied. 

“...Harvard?” Yuuri squeaked out. He couldn’t imagine getting into, let alone attending, such a prestigious University. For his undergrad he had attended Boston University and had continued there for his masters. 

“Of course! I’ve already set up a teaching position for myself so when you get accepted we can work together. Dissertations are a pain, but I’ve been through it before so I can help you along. Motivation is key, I always say it’s more of a marathon then a short sprint and you have to keep yourself in that mindset.” He explained.

Yuuri’s brain was running a million miles a minute. Harvard? At first he thought Dr. Nikiforov was kidding, but he had made it quite clear he wasn’t. There was no way that Yuuri could get into their Ph. D program, not when he had failed to get into his own alma mater’s. 

“Not to dissuade you, Dr. Nikiforov-”

“Viktor.”

“Viktor.” Yuuri repeated the word heavy on his tongue. It felt familiar and forbidden all at once.  
His heart shaped smile made another appearance, causing Yuuri to flush a bit at the sight. 

“I just…” Here he trailed off, casting his eyes downwards.

Viktor leaned down a bit, to meet Yuuri’s gaze.

“You’re going to be great Yuuri, we still have a month and all the time in the world. You had excellent grades, all you have to do is write the paper I know you’re capable of.” Viktor said.

It helped, when other people told him they believed in him. But doubt always seemed to creep up on him and cast a dark shadow over his thoughts. The creeping anxiety always seemed to settle in, but this time he had someone with him and he was no longer fighting his demons alone.

“Maybe.” Yuuri said, briefly glancing up.

“It’s a start.” Viktor said, reaching out tentatively and resting his hand on Yuuri’s shoulder. 

Yuuri looked up, meeting Viktor’s gaze. It seemed as if the world around them faded away when they were together like this. Back at the book shop and at the small cafe, nothing else had seemed to matter when they were together. Yuuri’s heart began to speed up a bit, a beautiful blush beginning to make it’s appearence. It made Viktor smile, he began to move his hand to cupe Yuuri’s jaw-

“Dinner’s ready,” Mari said as she came into the room carrying two pork cutlet bowls. Yuuri jumped back, pulling away from Viktor’s touch as if it was a hot brand. 

“Wow, it looked delicious,” He said smiling. 

“Thanks Mari,” Yuuri said, picking up his chopsticks.

Yuuri began to eat, it was his favorite dish and it had been awhile since he had had it. Watching Yuuri, Viktor attempted to use his chopsticks. It resulted in him being unable to pick anything up as he fumbled around with the unfamiliar cutlery.

A small laugh escaped Yuuri as he watched Viktor struggle, he had to admit it was cute. Dr. Vitkor Nikiforov, world renowned literary scholar, could not seem to figure out how to use chopsticks. 

“Here, let me show you,” Yuuri said, feeling some pity for the struggling man. He demonstrated how he held the chopsticks, Viktor trying, and failing, to mimic him. Yuuri chuckled at the sight, Viktor was thoroughly mystified by the simple cutlery.

“Ok, take one and hold it like you would a pencil. So then you take the other one and place it next to it and hold on to it with your middle finger. Yes, just like that. There you go.” Yuuri explained, smiling when the older man finally seemed to get it. 

Viktor shot Yuuri a bright smile, pleased he had finally succeeded. The next step, then, was for him to pick up a piece of pork. Yuuri held in a giggle as Viktor was intensely focused on the single piece, his brows knitted in concentration. After a few attempts, he managed to pick the piece up, his face lighting up once he did. 

“Oh my God, Yuuri this is amazing,” Viktor gushed taking a bite.

“I’m glad you like it, my mother’s such a wonderful cook which is why we decided to open the restaurant.” He explained. 

“It’s wonderful Yuuri, this must be what heaven tastes like.” Viktor said digging in. His eyes shone with delight and a carefree smile graced his face. Yuuri was a bit smitten.

He enjoyed how comfortable Viktor appeared to be, it made him feel more at ease. 

“It’s been my favorite meal since I was a kid, I usually only get to eat it on my birthday or holidays though.” Yuuri said taking small bites of the dish. It had a been a while since he had been home for more than a couple hours. Since Viktor would be staying with his parents, since Yuuri’s couch was not an appropriate place for a world famous Shakespearean to stay, his parents had offered Yuuri’s old room.

Yuuri just hoped he had remembered to take everything with him when he moved and prayed Viktor didn’t find anything odd. He doubted it, he had never been a particularly sexually active kid and had never really felt and desire to begin with. He had only really ever been interested in his books and, if anything, he considered sex to be a distraction he had little time or interest for. 

“Do you come home often then, I would if I had something this delicious waiting for me.” Viktor said.

“Sometimes, depends on how busy the shop is. I try to stop in once a week and let them all know I’m alive. I can be a bit forgetful at times though and if I get really caught up in a story I tend to forget.” Yuuri admitted.

“I’ve done that plenty of times too. Everyone makes fun of me for how forgetful I can be. Once I’m really focused on something though, I always see it through to the end and give it my all.” Viktor said. Yuuri blushed at the implication and looked away, there was no way Viktor was referring to him anyways. 

They finished their meals in peaceful silence, simply enjoying each other’s company. 

Yuuri’s mother came in and Viktor of course gushed about how good the food had been. She smiled kindly at him, pleased at his approval. 

“So Yuuri, have you thought of any good paper topics?” Viktor asked as casually as one would ask about the weather.

Yuuri was beginning to think Viktor wasn’t very good at this whole, ‘subtle’ thing.

“Um, I have some vague ideas.” He managed to get out, a bit shocked by the inquiry.

“Great, let me hear them then,” He said smiling, looking expectantly at Yuuri.

“Well, I was thinking maybe Macbeth and nature? Or I was thinking Othello and the humors or maybe something about her handkerchief? It’s interesting they call it a napkin a few times. And it has strawberries. That’s something, right?” He said, clearly unsure of himself.

Viktor knew Yuuri wasn’t very confident, but this only further cemented the thought. A scholar should be firm and direct with their claims, should be confident in their paper choices and put forth a well reasoned argument with good sources while engaging with critics and sticking to their guns. It seemed Yuuri couldn’t even find something to stick to. Secretly, he wondered what had made Yuuri so anxious, and he wanted to hurt whoever had made the man so self conscious. Yuuri was brilliant, he should be putting forth the confidence that came from being a brilliant scholar. Most his more esteemed colleges could be quite arrogant in fact, and it was well known that many were considered to be a bit full of themselves. 

“I think those are some good ideas, you need to work on refining them I’m sure you know. They need some work. Have you begun looking at specific passages yet? That should probably be your next step. Typically I do 3-4.” He explained. 

“Yah, I was thinking after work tomorrow I’d start to work on choosing my topic and the passages along with some preliminary researching.” He said, tucking a stray lock of hair behind his ear.

Viktor felt his heart break ever so slightly. It pained him to see Yuuri so self conscious, a war clearly raging in his mind. He wanted to tell him that every night he had been the last thought on Viktor’s mind. Every conversation at the cafe they had, Viktor had replayed a thousand times. It had been so long since he’d had a conversation about Doctor Who instead of when his next piece would be published or what his thoughts were on this or that. It was wonderful, for once he wasn’t Dr. Nikiforov, he was Viktor. Yuuri had wanted to know the man, not the scholar. He had felt a connection with Yuuri, and now he was left wondering if that had just been the product of an over worked mind. 

Yuuri had always been shy, from the moment they had met, but there had been moments in that cafe where he had let his guard down and had let Viktor in. It was alright though, Viktor was a patient man, if not dedicated, man. He would wait for Yuuri, as long as it took. 

“That’s a good plan. I can come by after and pick you up. We’ll have dinner and discussion. Does that sound good?” Viktor asked. It sounded wonderful to him, some light research in the morning and then dinner with Yuuri. It had been so long since he had had someone to eat meals with who didn’t pester him with a thousand questions. 

“Yah, that works. I get off around 5 every day.” Yuuri mentioned.

“Perfect. I’m sure you know the local area well enough for some good places to eat.” Viktor said.

“Yah, anyways I um, should be going I have to be at work at 7:30 on weekdays.” Yuuri said getting up.

“Alright, I’ll see you tomorrow then yah?” Viktor said, trying to hide his disappointment at Yuuri leaving.

“Yah,” he replied. 

“Goodnight Yuuri.” Viktor said, watching him leave. He wanted to go with him. To curl up with him at night. Keep him warm, tell him how brilliant he was until finally believed. Viktor didn’t want a good night, he wanted the soft snores next to him. But he would wait, forever if he had too, until Yuuri was ready.  
___________

Everything was too quiet when Yuuri left. It was getting late anyways so he figured he might as head to bed. The Kastukis had been kind enough to let Viktor stay with them since he was helping Yuuri. They had given him Yuuri’s old room which was all cleaned out except for a few posters on the wall. He chuckled at the one of the globe, he had been there often when he was working on his dissertation. He remembered it fondly, perhaps one day he would have the joy of taking Yuuri. He went there just about every year, he was good friends with a bunch of staff members and always enjoyed their productions. He thought of all the places he wanted to visit with Yuuri. Once boring conferences would be so much more exciting having him with him. He thought about going for dinners after plays and discussing the productions choices and whether or not they had worked. 

He wanted it all. 

Viktor collapsed on the bed, with it’s fresh sheets. He had been excited that the sheets might still smell of him. He remembered Yuuri laying his head on his shoulder that night, the way Yuuri’s hair had smelled, of crisp forests and fresh snowfalls. He wondered if he would ever get to be that close to Yuuri again.

From the stairs he heard the familiar padding of Makkachin’s paws on the hardwood. Sure enough, the poodle appeared jumping up onto the bed and curling up next to his owner. Viktor absent mindedly stroked his fur, thoughts wandering to the what if’s he often put off thinking about.

He felt stuck.

Everyone expected so much from him, something new and incentive but all Viktor felt was exhausted. The academic life was a tiring one with conferences, teaching, and writing he felt worn out. The only other time he had been this tired was when he’d been finishing his Doctorate. He felt so creatively put out, like he had written all he ever would and this was the end.

No one ever really talked about how exhausting it could be to be a writer. People expected the outpouring of quality and imaginative writings all year round. It was draining. As much as people thought academia was solely about brain power there was a lot of creativity involved. One needed to make sure they picked an interesting topic, one not really talked about before. Then there were theories to be applied which took a creative mind to get everything to work together, for all the ideas to fit like puzzle pieces. And then, then, you had to write it all down. All those complex thoughts in your head you had to trap them and get them down, and then you had to make sure others could understand them. 

You had to revise as many and as much as humanly possible before deadlines crept up on you like the monsters from your childhood nightmares. It was exhausting work, and it took it’s toll on you mentally and physically. No one talked about how stiff your fingers felt after writing all day, how your back felt permanently stiff after sitting for so long. There was a reason most English majors had glasses, between staring at his laptop screen and the tiny text in older sources Viktor felt like he was going blind sometimes.

He had just wanted a break, maybe then he’d find some inspiration. 

In the beginning he had written because it challenged him whereas nothing else really did. Yakov had bet him he couldn’t write a better paper and Viktor was not one to ignore a challenge so he rose to it. And then he set another one, and he rose to it. Again and again he rose above what people expected of him and soon it was no longer Yakov challenging him but his own peers. He could never stop, because stopping meant failure in his mind.

And then he had met Yuuri. Everything had been going a million miles an hour, and then suddenly, it stopped. The world felt still when Yuuri was in it, as if he didn’t have to go do a million things. As if he could just be Viktor for a bit.

It had been a long time since he had just been Viktor. It wasn't often he was allowed to shed the persona of Dr. Nikiforov and just be Viktor. That was usually only reserved for the end of the day when he walked through the door to his apartment. His loneliness had lead him to getting Makkachin in the first place. It seemed before he had met Yuuri he had been able to just push it to the back of his mind without giving it a second thought. 

Yuuri had come into his life and changed everything.

Sighing, Viktor reached towards the nightstand for his phone. It had been playing on the edge and his half hearted attempt to get it had knocked it off the nightstand and under the bed. 

He groaned getting off the bed and crouching on the floor, sticking his hand underneath feeling for his device. His hand came in contact with what felt like a stack of papers, curious, he pulled it out. It was a stack of heavily annotated papers. There were markings every other line and bright highlighter was every where. Sticky notes jutted out from between the pages which had a look of great wear. Upon a closer look, Viktor realized they were his. Flipping through the stack he realized they were all articles he had written, the top one being the most recent and going in chronological order to the oldest. At the back there was his bio, clearly scanned from the back of one of his books. It was a picture of him in his favorite black turtle neck with the sleeves rolled up and Makkachin on his lap. It looked like the typical ‘writer’ photo. 

But there was something written on it. He couldn’t make it out quite in the dark of the room. Feeling back under the bed for his phone, he found it and put on the flash light. Around his photo were the all too familiar words,  
“Let me not to the marriage of true minds  
Admit impediments. Love is not love  
Which alters when it alteration finds,  
Or bends with the remover to remove:  
O, no! it is an ever-fixed mark,  
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;  
It is the star to every wandering bark,  
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.  
Love ’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks  
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;  
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,  
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.  
If this be error, and upon me prov’d,  
I never writ, nor no man ever lov’d.”

Viktor felt his cheeks flush. He might not be willing to show it, but Yuuri felt the same way. He felt a warmth spread through his chest. He had a chance after all, he just had to be patient and wait for Yuuri to be ready.

Time after all, had no effect on love.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright so I should clarify that Greenblatt invented New Historicism which is a literary theoretical approach. This is gonna be really important as we go on. Sorry Yuuri's paper topic is so vague, I've been reading a lot of critical pieces but no one really fits him right now since he's so unsure of himself (me) and honestly scholars can be really fucking full of themselves. I'm also not sure for paper topics as of yet because I was going to use mine but I really can't risk the possibility of someone stealing it so bear with me guys! I'll try to link you to some stuff for next time.
> 
> It's important to mention you really kind of need a mentor otherwise you're really kind of lost. They can help you network, and that's what Yakov's been to Viktor. I can kinda see Viktor becoming Yuuri's mentor but not really because I view them as being close to peers. Close, but not yet. Eventually though. I also don't like the power dynamic of teacher/student so I wouldn't say their relationship is like that at all. You'll see more next chapter when they begin to fall more into a rhythm. I do intend for this to be a slow burn though. 
> 
> Yuuri's going to be trying to get in for the fall semester, which is gonna be tough as I imagine it being late February and applications are due around like March/April for schools for fall semester. Poor babe. He can, however, start to take summer classes once he is accepted is how it generally works. I should also explain the dissertation a bit. It's your big final paper once you work on basically forever and cry over a lot and you need it to graduate. It's like a cumulative piece and it's very exhausting and terrible. Doctoral dissertations are notoriously terrible too, due to length and requirements. 
> 
> TAs and assistantships are the same thing. Basically a TA is a teacher assistant and you help lead classes and grade. Basically you're working for the school which then acts as a tuition waiver. They can be hard to get and people have to fight over them sometimes (my fucking life man) but they're much more common and easier to come by when you're going for your Ph. D then your masters. 
> 
> So Stephen Greenblatt teaches at Harvard which is why I was like hmmm….yes. Personally, I prefer Yale as thats where I'm considering for my Ph.D (my dream school is Notre Dame) once I get my masters from UConn (I'm finishing up my undergrad). But I think Harvard would be equivalent to the GPF series since it's well known world wide, well except to Viktor who has his head permanently stuck up his ass. (I still love him though) I'm not familiar with their programs though but I know they've churned out some really solid Shakespeareans though I'm drawing a mental blank. It's probably due to the fact I've been up studying and writing for such long periods. 
> 
> Let me know if you guys want me to put up some critical pieces I imagine each of the skaters writing. I have some funny ones for Chris because he probably only writes about sex tbh.
> 
> As always you can follow my blog for more head canons and YOI goodness  
> https://vityaaaa.tumblr.com/


	3. Love is Merely a Madness

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The boys continue pining after one another, only this time its over Pizza and Othello.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for your kind words and kudos! They really keep me going!
> 
> Yet another kind of in-between chapter to kind of get things set up. It'll be a bit until things are kind of set up and even longer until the get together. What can I say? I'm a sucker for slow burn.
> 
> You can follow me on tumblr, where I post updates and YOI goodness, here: https://vityaaaa.tumblr.com/
> 
> As always I hope you guys enjoy this one! Scroll down to the bottom for more Shakespeare goodness!

It was a cloudy day, the kind where all you want to do is stay in bed. The rain was pattering softly against the window and his bed felt heavenly. The room was dimly lit, attempting to lure Yuuri back to sleep. He had hardly slept the previous night, too excited and anxious. 

Viktor Nikiforov had chosen him. 

He felt special in a way he never had before. Sure, his family loved him deeply and he was blessed with a few close friends but academia had long been the standard by which he measure his self worth by. To be then acknowledged by the top scholar, the founder of an entire critical theory, made him feel as though he mattered. Paper ideas had flown through his head late into the night and now various Arden editions of Shakespeare’s work lay scattered on the floor. Each one was filled with sticky notes and annotations. 

As much as he felt empowered by Viktor’s confidence in him, there was a growing anxiety that he wouldn’t be good enough. His anxiety now told him that it was a mistake, Viktor had thought he saw something, but upon closer examination, he would soon realize it was nothing at all. Yuuri feared he wouldn’t be good enough and would end up disappointing Viktor. The anxiety only seemed to grow as he went over the texts, desperate for a stroke of genius, he needed something revolutionary. But as the hours ticked away he felt like he felt like Tartarus, the ancient Greek condemned to roll a boulder up a hill, only to have it fall back down when he was nearly at the top, and he found himself no closer to an idea. He worried constantly nothing would be good enough for Viktor, as it was his approval he so desperately sought. 

Yuuri had stayed up late into the night until he finally felt to exhausted to continue and had passed out around 3 am. He had done similar things in college, often working himself to the bone when his anxiety flared up so he would be literally too tired to worry and then would sleep until his next class. He had messed up his sleep schedule for a long time and it seemed it was a pattern he was doomed to repeat.

His alarm started blaring the theme song to Doctor Who and he knew he had to pry himself from the warmth of his blanket cocoon. Yuuri plodded over to his chest of drawers where he shifted through the neatly stacked piles of shirts for his American Shakespeare Center shirt. It was one of his favorites and was pretty well worn as he hadn’t been back to the Blackfriars theatre in a couple years. His graduate program at Boston University used to take a couple cars down every year in the spring for their Renaissance season to see a few of their productions. Yuuri had always enjoyed them immensely. 

People tended to forget that Shakespeare’s plays were in fact meant to be seen, to be performed on stage and they often actually made for a pretty dull read at times. The comedies never seemed to translate to the page very well, and people often missed moments that were supposed to be funny. His plays had been meant to be seen on stage, and while analysing the text was Yuuri’s specialty, he immensely enjoyed seeing productions. Staging could drastically affect the plays,a simple choice of keeping a character onstage to hear what was being spoken could change the meaning of their actions. 

Perhaps tonight he would rewatch one of his favorite reproductions of Othello, the 1995 Laurence Fishburne and Kenneth Branagh one, to get some inspiration. Since nothing had particularly moved him last night he had decided to stay with the topic of Desdemona's handkerchief and possibly focus on the strawberries. He was also interested on the multiple things it was called throughout the play, and who called it what when. Yuuri found himself drawn to the fact that such a small, and seemingly insignificant object, had such a big impact on the play. It was intriguing to say the least, and Yuuri thought it deserved a closer analysis. 

Yuuri went to the bathroom, splashing some cold water on his face in an attempt to wake himself up. It should be a quiet day at the bookshop, but tonight he would be busy working on his paper with Viktor. It would be one hell of a month to try to get the paper done and good enough for Harvard. He still couldn’t believe it. As a teenager he had only dreamed of getting into the school, but now it was a viable goal and with Viktor’s help he had a good chance of it shifting from a dream to a reality. He almost couldn’t believe it at times.

Viktor was even more handsome in person. 

He wouldn’t admit it to himself, but one of the reasons he wanted Viktor’s approval so desperately is he couldn’t help but have feelings for the man. Phitchit had been the only one who had ever really known Yuuri was gay, and partially in love with the scholar, as he never felt it was particularly important to release the information. Yuuri was the stereotypical academic in this regard, outside of his studies he didn’t seem to care much for relationships and had never really explored his sexaulity due to the simple fact he ever felt inclined to. 

There was also the problem that no one ever seemed to be able to measure up to Viktor. Anytime someone had come along and showed interest, they paled in comparison to the man who secretly held Yuuri’s heart. Phitchit had tried to get him to go out and to move on, but something held Yuuri back. In the end, he always seemed to come back to Viktor. 

Brushing his teeth, Yuuri continued to analyze his ideas about the handkerchief. What theory would he use? He always seemed to lean more towards New Historicism, and he was for this piece, but perhaps applying a more complex theory like Baudrillard. He wasn’t a fan of some of the more obscure theorist like Lacan, but it might be could to consider them as it made the paper seem more impressive that he could apply these complex images. 

He sighed. Yuuri loved what he did, truly, it kept him sane but he forgot what a large toll it took on him. Between battling his anxiety and trying desperately to convince himself he was worthy, and managing to get his thoughts down it was incredibly exhausting. When he did get sleep, it was often plagued with dreams of, what he believed, was his imminent failure. Academia was hard and it took a toll on you. Yuuri often wondered if it was an act the top scholars put on, that they were only pretending to be so full of themselves so they could hide the insecurities that lurked underneath. 

After brushing his teeth he headed to the fridge for the lunch he had packed last night. It was clear he was back in the academic world as his fridge was now filled with beer and an obnoxious amount of Red Bull and Mountain Dew. He grabbed a Red Bull and headed out the door to the bookstore below.

It would be a quiet day of shelving and reading. He had his copy of Othello tucked on his arm as he flipped on the lights and set his stuff down on the counter. There was a bit of snow fall again this morning as the temperature caused it to fluctuate between snow and rain. Perhaps tonight there would be some snow as the temperatures were predicted to drop quite low.

Yuuri was interrupted from his musings when his phone buzzed.

Nikiforov took off from Russia…no one knows why...you wouldn’t know anything about this would you?

Trust Phichit to know every little thing that’s going on. Unlike Yuuri he was incredibly social and had many friends who kept him in the academic loop. 

Yuuri typed a reply, a bit unsure what to say. He knew Phitchit would freak out a bit over the news, which reminded Yuuri he hadn’t told anyone yet. Great.

Um….

It was the only reply Yuuri could seem to muster. He sighed, resigning himself to the fact he should probably text Minako as well. It would only be a matter of time before it was revealed that Viktor would be teaching at Harvard, the university would be quick to claim Viktor Nikiforov as a faculty member. His phone buzzed again from where it sat on the counter.

Yuuri what have I told you about keeping me out of the loop???If you know something you better SPILL

Yuuri typed up a quick response and hit send.

He came back

It was so simple, three words only but it spoke volumes. Viktor had come back, had traveled halfway across the world just to help Yuuri. When he thought about it, it moved him deeply that someone had cared so much after the briefest encounter. No one had ever gone that far for him. He didn’t let himself think of how much it meant to him, what it implied. 

OH MY GOD YUURI

He smiled, count on Phitchit to freak out. He had known about Yuuri’s minor obsession with the man since they were freshman undergrads. Throughout their undergraduate, and later graduate, careers Phitchit was the only one who knew that Yuuri kept a stack of all of Viktor’s works under his bed. Each one was annotated, and the highlighting was color coded. The last page was a photocopy of Viktor’s bio which appeared at the end of his works. On that Yuuri had, drunkenly, written the entirety of Sonnet 116 on the page in barely legible writing. He had been incredibly embarrassed afterwards and had stuck it in the back of the stack, unable to the throw the picture away. Thinking about it now he was embarrassed, he had lost the stack some time ago in the second year of his masters program. It was probably stashed somewhere in his old apartment where Phitchit and his new roommate, Emil, lived. 

I know ok. He’s staying with my parents. Says he wants to get me into Harvard where he’s teaching next semester. Send help.

He sent the message off as the door above the shop rang. He looked up half ready to tell whoever it was that the store wasn’t open yet and wouldn’t be for another half hour. However, Minako was standing in the doorway and by the look on her face he could tell he was in trouble.

“Yuuri Katsuki.” She said, her gaze piercing as she made eye contact.

Scratch trouble, he was in deep shit.

“Uh, I can explain?” she said sheepishly.

“Oh, you better. I got a call from your mother today saying Viktor Nikiforov is staying with you and helping you get into Harvard,” she said.

“Yah, he just kinda showed up at the bookstore. Came right through the door blurting out that he was getting me into grad school. My parents offered him a place to stay,” he explained. 

“And you didn’t tell me this right away because?” she asked, crossing her arms.   
“I mean to be fair it only happened yesterday,” he said.

She huffed, rolling her eyes. Minako could be a bit nosy at times, but it was only because she cared so much. When he was younger he had spent countless days and nights with her going over papers and the like. He would tell her what was going on with him, and she was the first person he went to for advice. They had drifted apart over the years, especially when he went back to Boston for his MA and had been so busy that he barely had time to breathe let alone message his family and old friends back home. 

“Does Phitchit know?” she asked.

As if on cue his phone buzzed, most likely the young man had replied. Yuuri glanced down at his iPhone and sure enough he had.

Stock up on Red Bull. You’ve got like a month to write an entire paper that’ll get you into Harvard with the man you desperately want to bone. You’re gonna suffer like the rest of us.

“Yah, I just told him before you got here,” he replied

“Told him or he confronted you about it and then you filled him in?” she asked knowingly. 

Yuuri blushed sheepishly, “He asked about it.”

Minako sighed. She knew Yuuri, more importantly she knew about his feelings towards Viktor. While he would probably want to keep this quiet, he had to know that this would be big news within the literary world. He knew this would get out, and it the polite thing to do would be to tell his friends himself instead of letting the press fill them in.

“I know you’re probably nervous about it, but just let us in ok. I know you Yuuri, and I know you shut people out when you’re uncomfortable. But we all love you, we’re all here supporting you,” Minako said.

She knew Yuuri tended to close himself off, and could see him doing it now. What was left unspoken was exactly who he should let in. She knew she couldn’t very well say it out loud, Yuuri would nearly have a panic attack at the mention of the idea of it. For now all she could was gently ease him along until he was ready to accept the truth.

He had feelings for Viktor, just as the man had feelings for him. 

She’d be there for him the whole way as she knew it would be a process. It seemed, that Viktor was willing to stick around, to see things through. He had come back hadn’t he? She’d seen them talking in the cafe that day, she wasn’t an idiot she knew what a first date looked like. For now, all she could do was stand by and support Yuuri. 

“Alright, I’ll try,” he replied.

She smiled at him, “that’s all we can ask.”  
___________  
The conversations with Minako and Phitchit seemed to linger through the morning. He tried putting the comments referencing Viktor out of his head, but they always came back. It was no good, there was no way Dr. Viktor Nikiforov could actually romantically be interested in him. Yuuri distracted himself by sorting the books in the store and browsing critical pieces online. He was working on vetting one about the handkerchief in particular when the door to the store jingled. He glanced up, a bit surprised at the man standing before him. 

Viktor wore a long grey coat unbuttoned to reveal a black wool turtleneck and a pair of dark grey slacks. Even in the middle of nowhere the man looked like he belonged in a magazine. A heart shaped smile graced his features, along with a stunning red dusting along his cheekbones from the cold. The tips of his ears were a slightly darker hue, Yuuri couldn’t help but notice, and he found himself dreadfully unprepared for the sight. 

“Yuuri! I brought lunch, I figured you must be hungry after working so hard,” Viktor said enthusiastically. The man was carrying a large plastic bag filled with something that smelled very familiar. 

Yuuri, surprised, responded, “Viktor, I um, packed a lunch I wasn’t expecting you.”

Viktor’s face fell a bit, “Oh, I’m sorry. Perhaps I should have told you.”

“No, it’s fine I was just surprised is all. What did you bring?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor smiled again, causing Yuuri’s heart to do that annoying thing it did whenever the man smiled.

“Katsudon!” he said in his thick Russian accent. “It’s your favorite so i thought what better to surprise you with.” 

Yuuri couldn’t help but blush a bit at the gesture, “Wow, um thank you that’s very kind of you, I hope it wasn’t too much trouble. You didn’t have to come all the way here.”

“I wanted to, I finished up some of my research and I thought who better to have lunch with?” Viktor explained. 

He set the bag down on the counter, glancing down at the printouts and the computer screen. 

“It looks like you need a bit of a break, hit a dead end?” Viktor asked, noticing all the questions on the article.

Yuuri smiled getting up to move his papers away so they could have someplace to eat. 

“Yah, I’m working on vetting this source and I just can not find the author. I hate using Google Scholar but I’m just doing preliminary work,” he explained as he got the other stool and put it on the other side of the counter for Viktor to use. 

Yuuri knew he was probably just being anal intensive but he was always very thorough about vetting his sources as his credibility as a scholar rested on them. Vetting was the process of going through a source and making sure it was reliable, and that the person who wrote it was credible as well. He tended to live on JSTOR but because he was no longer a student at a university, he had loss access to the database and all the others. While JSTOR had been hard in terms of finding search terms that actually worked, he appreciated the in depth articles he found once he stumbled upon the right terms. 

Somewhere in the back of his wardrobe there was a simple black t-shirt with white words saying, “sleep all day, JSTOR all night.”

He missed having access to the databases and so he had ended up on Google Scholar which had a heavily disputed reputation. Some hated it, others loved it and the jury was out on whether or not it was a reliable way to find sources. However, at this point it was Yuuri’s only option so he had little choice in the matter. 

“Hmm, well what seems to be the problem,” Viktor asked getting out the food and the utensils.

“It’s just I can’t seem to find the author,” Yuuri began “it’s almost like they disappeared. On top of that it seems like they don’t have a doctorate. The article itself isn’t bad, it has some great moments and some garbage ones so it would take some work to incorporate into my paper but it’d be worth it as I’d be ‘deeply engaging with the critics’ as they put it.”

“Well,” Viktor started “I think maybe you should just keep this one on the back burner for now. Worry more about your argument right now and making that solid and textually based and then come back to looking at sources.”

“That’s true I’ve narrowed it a bit more, focusing on some specific word choices and passages but it could still use some work I guess,” Yuuri admitted. 

He thought about the movie he planned on watching tonight and debated for a moment whether he should invite Viktor or not. The man had probably seen it already he should really leave Viktor to his work. But something inside of him wanted to spend more time with Viktor, to become closer to the man, and in the end that part won out. 

“I was actually planning on watching the 1995 version, with Laurence Fishburne and Kenneth Branagh, if you wanted to come over after we go over my paper tonight” He asked, the words rushing out due to his nerves. 

Viktor’s answering smile was simply breathtaking.

“I’d love to Yuuri.” 

The way Viktor always said his name made him blush. It was as if he was excited to say it, and the way it rolled off of his tongue with a drawn out u made the man feel special.

“Good, I have some Angry Orchards. Have you ever had it?” Yuuri asked.

Vitkor was confused, didn’t Yuuri remember they had drank it the first night? Did he not remember? It would explain why he was being so coy and why he was so shocked when Viktor had first appeared. Yuuri had gotten fairly drunk, as Viktor remembered, perhaps that was why he had forgotten it. He decided to might be best not to say anything about it, he didn’t want to embarrass Yuuri or increase his anxiety. Viktor would let him figure it out on his own.

“I haven’t, is it some kind of American beer?” He asked.

“No,” Yuuri said shaking his head and digging into his lunch “it’s a cider. I’m not a big fan of beer, especially American beer.” 

“Sounds good, I can bring some snacks if you want, maybe make it a movie night. It is raining outside after all, perfect for a night in.” Viktor suggest.

“Sure, that sounds nice actually.” Yuuri said.

“Good, now then about the paper.” Viktor said, trying to be subtle but failing miserably.

Yuuri groaned into his lunch, just wanting to enjoy his favorite dish. 

“Well, if you don’t want to talk about your paper we can always talk about you,” Viktor said, resting his chin in his hand.

Yuuri nearly choked on his bite of Katsudon. Why on Earth would Viktor Nikiforov want to know anything about him? He was just an ordinary run of the mill graduate student.

“Uh, um. Well I mean I was thinking on focusing on the strawberries. I think they’re there for a reason so I was thinking of doing a New Historicist approach.” Yuuri said desperately trying to avoid talking about himself.

“That’s interesting. Why that approach?” Viktor asked, intrigued.

“Well I was originally thinking maybe applying Baudrillard to it but I’m not sure it fits. Plus I like the idea of finding out more about strawberries within the period. I was thinking maybe it’s a pun, fruitful, as in fertile,” Yuuri explained.

Viktor thought for a moment. He felt like he had read a million papers on Desdemona's handkerchief before, but he didn’t seem to remember any particular piece on the handkerchief before. It was an interesting proposition, but he’d have to look closer at the text before he felt swayed by Yuuri’s argument. He also wanted to make sure the text even supported it. 

“I’ve highlighted and annotated the passages if you want to see. They’re on the pages with the pink sticky notes.” Yuuri explained handing him his copy of the play.

Viktor began flipping to the pages looking it over. Yuuri was certainly very diligent as his annotations were very precise and noted the nature of some of the words as well as the literal meanings and etymological origins. It seemed like a good argument, and that the text supported him on his claims. The next step, of course, would be to find sources and then start to write the paper. If he had his way, Yuuri would begin writing the actual paper in a week after intensive researching. It would be around 23 pages, and it needed to be well written. After writing he would of course need some time to make revisions. It needed to be good for Harvard to accept him, damn good. 

“It seems like the text seems to support you on this, I suggest we go over some research tonight. If you get your sources together within the next week you should be able to get writing soon which is important. It’ll give you two weeks to write it, at most three, and then about a week of revisions. It’s gonna be a straight sprint to the finish line,” Viktor explained.

Yuuri’s eyes widened a bit at all the work he would have to do in such a short amount of time.

Seeing Yuuri begin to panic a bit, and wanting to help, Viktor said the only thing he knew that helped comfort people.

“It’ll be alright Yuuri, I’ll be there with you the whole way,” He said, blue eyes meeting brown. 

The statement seemed to do the trick and Yuuri relaxed a bit. Neither had looked away and the pair sat still for a moment, Yuuri looked so vulnerable and Viktor’s gaze was soft. 

Viktor wanted to kiss the younger man’s doubts away, but he didn’t want to scare him away. He would wait for the younger man to make his move. 

Yuuri at last glanced away, a bit self concious of how long he had been staring. It was so hard not to look away, Viktor had been staring at him with a mix of determination and support, with a little bit of something Yuuri couldn’t quite place.

“I know you will,” He said, looking at his now empty plate. It comforted him that he had someone behind him.

The doorbell rang, as a customer walked in, interrupting the tender moment. 

“I guess that’s my cue to go. I’ll be here tonight at 5:30 then?” Viktor said clearing the empty plates off the counter.   
“Yah, that’d be great,” Yuuri said, helping him clean up.

“Great. I’ll be looking forward to it,” Viktor said catching Yuuri’s gaze for a second before he looked away.

Viktor put his coat on heading the door, Yuuri watching wanting to say something, anything. 

“Viktor,” he called out after him “thank you.” He said earnestly.

He turned back towards him, a soft and private smile gracing his features, “It’s my pleasure Yuuri,” he said.

With that he was out the door and Yuuri was seconds away from a heart attack. Why had he said that? What did Viktor’s response even mean? Yuuri was panicking, Viktor liking him romantically? No way, it was too much. 

He couldn’t let himself think it, not even for a moment, he would too disappointed when it was proven untrue. There was no way he could like him, he didn’t have a Ph.D to begin with not even the fact he was a walking ball of anxiety. 

Yuuri couldn’t let himself fall for Viktor, or at least that’s what he told himself.  
________________

The rest of the day passed quickly enough, Yuuri spent the majority of it trying to forget Viktor’s beautiful heart shaped smile and the way his eyes lit up. He’d put himself to work, attempting to bury himself in research but it seemed to no avail as he was presently stuck with Google Scholar. 

He was currently working on closing the shop, not allowing himself to think about the excitement bubbling in chest about seeing, and getting to work with, Viktor.

Soon enough he heard the bell above the door jingle as the older man made his way inside the shop. 

“I’ll just be a moment. I’m just turning off some lights,” Yuuri explained.

“That’s fine take your time,” Viktor said.

Yuuri quickly finished his task, a bit excited to see Viktor. The man was wearing the same outfit, yet couldn’t quite get over how absolutely stunning the man looked. He blushed at the thoughts and put them out of his head, they had work to do tonight.

“Alright you want to head up? I warn you though it’s bit messy I had a bit of a study session last night,” Yuuri said a bit sheepishly.

“I’m sure it’s fine,” he said as they headed up.

Yuuri turned on the light, showing the mess of plays spread out on the floor. He sighed, setting his keys on the counter and going to pick them all up. 

“Wait,” Viktor began stopping Yuuri “I want to see your process.” He took off his coat, putting it on the couch as he saw down among the books. 

Yuuri was a private person and a scholar’s research method was weirdly personal. It was basically getting to know the inner workings of their mind, and their thought process. He wasn’t against letting the older man see it, he was just worried what he would think. Yuuri tended to jot everything down, some of it being barely legible. Some of it was scribbled on post it notes, others were on papers scattered about the carpet.

Viktor going over them made Yuuri a bit nervous, and he sat next to him on the floor. 

“I know it’s kind of scattered, and some of it’s not really legible…” Yuuri trailed off feeling guilty he wasn’t neater. 

“Yuuri it’s fine, I do the same but a bit messier. My studio is really just papers everyone. I promise I’m not judging you I just want to get inside your head a bit, if you’ll let me that is,” Viktor said, looking to Yuuri for permission.

“Alright,” Yuuri said, letting him in.

They got to work then, going over his process when going through the text, Viktor kept harping on him how important it was to consult the text at all times. He seemed to go on a mini rant about how many scholars he came across who always seemed to venture away on some point or another. Yuuri thought it was cute how invested he was in his work and how annoyed he was. He vowed to always be quoting the text, just so it wouldn’t annoy Viktor, no matter how cute he was when he was annoyed. 

After that they began to do some serious research. Viktor gave Yuuri his database codes so he could get access which was only partly illegal and frowned upon. He swore him to secrecy and Yuuri pledged he would never tell a soul, not even Phithcit. They laughed as they browsed some of the lackluster pieces Yuuri had come across in his search. Some of them were pretty ridiculous and Yuuri had printed them out for laughs. 

The pair were genuinely enjoying themselves when Viktors phone rang, he mouth “Pizza” at Yuuri and answered. Sure enough, Viktor had been kind enough to order ahead and the pizza man was downstairs. Viktor went down got it and tipped the delivery man before coming back up and resuming their study session.

They veered off topic for a bit, reminiscing about their undergraduate days. College was a bit of a crazy place and they each had their stories to tell. Yuuri told one where some friends had taken the ping pong tables out of the commons to play beer pong on. They had gotten in a huge amount of trouble but it made him laugh and it was now a legend on campus. 

Viktor upped him one when he told him the story of how his freshman dorm had nearly all gotten in serious trouble for making giant dicks out of the fresh snow the day of an open house. They both laughed and recalled that every fresh snow was followed by large dicks popping up around campus.

It was nice to see this side of Viktor, smiling and reminiscing on his past. He was a charming story teller due to the fact he was naturally over dramatic. Yuuri found time slipping away as the pair continued to exchange stories of their past. Yuuri especially got a kick out of Viktor sending his Shakespeare professor roses for Valentine's day. He had wondered what Viktor would have been like as an undergrad and now he knew, he got into all sorts of trouble and barely slept. It made Yuuri curious about Viktor’s past, a bit mournful he hadn’t been a part of it.   
They talked about their numerous professors, some of the more outlandish ones as well. It seemed Shakespeareans had a bit of a streak for being eccentric, Viktor argued he wasn’t but Yuuri doubted it with how dramatic the man was. 

Apparently, there was this mysterious man that appeared at Shakespeare conferences every year in cowboy boots and a bowling shirt that Viktor was fascinated with. Yuuri didn’t believe so Viktor vowed to drag him to the conference to show him. The conference was always filled with interesting folk anyways, Shakespeareans tended to be as dramatic as the Bard himself. 

Eventually the pair made it onto the couch and turned the movie on. It was an enjoyable and moving performance with a really outstanding cast. Iago was really comical in this version and there was plenty of homosexual tension running throughout, especially the weird scene where he smelled the handkerchief before having sex with his wife. The choice of Cassio giving Othello the dagger to kill himself was also really interesting. The whole movie Viktor kept thinking about how he wanted to be closer to Yuuri, who sat on the other end of the couch. Viktor reprimanded himself, and reminded himself that things would go at Yuuri’s pace. 

There was something to be said about watching a movie with your crush, you become a bit hyper aware of the space around you and whether or not they’ll make a move. This is precisely why Yuuri had decided to sit on the other end as he wanted to watch the movie in some semblance of peace. He told himself it was normal, and tried desperately to convince himself that Viktor didn’t like him and was probably straight. 

The last part he really doubted, but the rest caused knots in his stomach and he forced himself to put it out of mind so he could enjoy his time with Viktor.

They talked about the movie and it’s choices, which worked and which didn’t. Yuuri found the ocean scene to be a bit off putting, Viktor wasn’t a fan of the weird time Roderigo had ripped his beard off. Overall, they had enjoyed it and they talked at length about what stage versions they had seen. They talked about some of their favorite stage productions, Yuuri ranting about his love for the Blackfriars theatre. While it wasn’t rare to find good Shakespeare it was rare to find a playhouse that put out consistently good plays. As well traveled as he was, it turned out that Viktor had never actually been to the Blackfrairs theatre and they decided that at some point they should make a trip down during the Renaissance season in the spring. 

Conversation flowed to what friends they would invite and Viktor brought up his good friend and colleague, Dr. Christophe Giacometti. He worked mainly on Ben Johnson and Viktor seemed to be quite close with him as he talked about all of their antics in grad school, including the night Chris had drunkenly pole danced in front an entire conference the gala a few years back. Viktor laughed at the memory, and explained that Chris’ boyfriend had been present and some unnamed woman had been flirting with him causing Chris to be dramatic and show his love in the form of a seductive half clothed pole dance. Luckily enough, it had been a rather relaxed and unimportant conference, unlike the Shakespeare Association of America conference. 

Viktor explained that he tended to prefer the more relaxed one as everyone seemed to get to know each other on a more personal basis. Yuuri revealed he actually had only really presented at a local conference once and it hadn’t gone all that well as he suffered from bad stage fright.

They talked about this and that for some time, simply enjoying each other’s presence. Yuuri became more comfortable to the man and found himself opening up a bit. Around 12 am they said their goodbyes, and Yuuri found himself wishing Viktor could stay.

Yuuri found himself lying in bed thinking about the night. Surely, Viktor just wanted to grow closer to him since he was his mentor. It wasn’t because he was interested in Yuuri romantically, that couldn’t possibly be it. He wouldn’t let himself get his hopes up only to be crushed. It had happened too many times before. Viktor was his friend and his current mentor, that was it that was all. And yet, he thought of the private smiles Viktor shared with him, the way when their eyes met, his softened. His carefree laugh, and his kind gestures. Still, he couldn’t let himself get his hopes up, he just wanted to discuss research over lunch that was all. 

Yuuri reminded himself for the upteenth time that day that he couldn’t let himself get his hopes up, he just couldn’t. There was no way they would be returned and it would break his heart. At the end of the day, no matter how much Yuuri denied it to himself, and everyone else for that matter, he cared deeply for Viktor and having the man reject him would destroy him. 

Not only was Viktor gorgeous but he was kind and thoughtful, if not a little over dramatic at times. He deeply enjoyed having Viktor in his life and the friendship they shared. He couldn't let himself ruin that with false hopes of romance, no matter how likely they seemed. It was just because he wanted to date Viktor that he saw the gestures as romantic, he couldn’t lead to think they were anything more than they were, just friendly gestures.

But here, in the dark of his room alone in the early morning, Yuuri could let himself dream for a moment what it might be like to kiss Viktor, to hold his hand, to wake up next to him. It seemed like a far off pipe dream but Yuuri indulged himself, only this once.

That night Yuuri dreamed of drifting off with Viktor next to him, though he would never admit it.

_____________

Viktor couldn’t fall asleep.

As much as his body craved it and as tired as he was, he couldn’t quite manage it. Makkachin, however, had passed out long before Viktor had come home. 

He thought of how Yuuri seemed to open up more tonight, and his brief unguarded moments. God, he could become addicted to that. The way he seemed to open a bit, his smiles becoming more genuine and his eyes shining in mirth.

Viktor Nikiforov was a greedy man, and he wanted as much of Yuuri as he could get. Every smile, every laugh, was somehow becoming sacred to the man. He forgot how much he enjoyed the man’s company, he never pushed him for his views on this or that in terms of academia, he wanted to know Viktor himself.

That touched Viktor deeply. So many people had come and gone, only ever wanting to either boost their own reputations either through his acquaintance or his critiques. It had hurt when people left after they got what they wanted, or how they only seemed to want to talk to him when it was convenient for them. Conversations tended to only really revolve around academia because that was the only thing people wanted out of him.

But Yuuri, he was different.

He liked the man, the man that in college had drunkenly tried to steal a random raccoon. The man that had way too many designer turtlenecks and bought his dog hundred dollar collars with real diamonds. He liked Viktor, not Dr. Nikiforov. 

The thought made his stomach fill with butterflies. 

He really, really, didn’t want to screw this up.

Viktor wasn’t really close with a lot of his peers. Sure he could ask Chris for advice but he would probably just say something along the lines of, “show up with your dick out” which was not something that currently interested Viktor. Sure he was decently well endowed but he didn’t think that would get much of anything done. He was trying to help Yuuri feel comfortable enough to come out his shell, not scare him back into it. 

Still, his mind wandered over today’s events and he couldn’t help but get the feeling that slowly but surely, Yuuri was becoming more comfortable with him. He wanted Yuuri to feel open enough to tell him things, and he wanted to help him learn to be comfortable in his own skin. It took some work, he knew it did. Hell, when he was in his master's program he constantly felt like he wasn’t good enough and it had taken a lot of work to learn how to believe in himself and give off an air of confidence. 

He could help Yuuri, he knew he could. Yuuri just had to let him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I mentioned Arden because I recommend them the most, if you're going to read Shakespeare as they have great foot notes. Personally, Folger has a soft spot in my heart but Arden's better at footnotes and they're just nice books. Again, your editor matters because there can be multiple copies of a play or minor edits made. It all depends on the play, really, as some we only have a single copy to go off of and others we have a lot of copies. Still, Arden usually has quality editors and they always do a nice job with the foot notes. 
> 
> Blackfriars Theatre is located in Staunton Virginia which is about a three hour drive from where I live. Every spring the two Shakespeareans at my school (and also my favorite professors) take about 12 of us down and we watch three plays in about two days. It's a reproduction of Shakespeare's original indoor theatre and it's beautiful. To be honest, they put on probably, the best Shakespeare productions in the country. I'm lucky I'll be going down during their Renaissance season again this year to see a couple plays. I'm really excited and I'm sure I'll mention them again since it's a well known and important to the Shakespeare community in America (London has the Globe and we have Blackfriars). But if you live around there and you like Shakespeare you should absolutely go! I'm sure I'll be mentioning some of the other productions I plan to attend this year later on. I live around Philadelphia so I'll be talking about ones in the area. 
> 
> The 1995 Laurence Fishburne and Kenneth Branagh one is really good, we watched it the other day for my Shakespeare class and I loved it. It's definitely my favorite DVD version of the play. I really recommend it for you Shakespeare fans or even those of you who are new to the field and just want to know more. It has really homosexual undertones which I thought were really interesting and done really well. You can find it online really cheap I expect as it's from 1995 (though you wouldn't know it).
> 
> Jean Baudrillard basically came up with Simulacra and Simulation which gets used in literary theory a lot. It's super complex so if you wanna give it a shot good luck. It's really something. I'm basing Yuuri's grad paper off of the work I'm doing for my Shakespeare class because it helps me get ideas and begin to formulate them. So I can't link you guys to the article that inspired it, but next week I might link you guys some general articles on the handkerchief if you're interested. 
> 
> Vetting a source can be a bit of a pain in the ass once you get to a certain level you kind of being to do it automatically. If it's on JSTOR your pretty much good, but I always like to double check because I don't have a Ph.D so I'm still building my credibility. Basically you just gotta find who wrote it, where they work (basically if they're a professor) and then where they published. Like I said at one point it kind of becomes automatic.
> 
> A database is where you find articles and you gotta pay a fuck ton of money to get into them (Looking at you EBBO I love you but money). JSTOR is well respected but plugging in search terms is such a pain in the ass because no one even knows how the fuck JSTOR finds their articles. But let me tell you when you plug in the right words the whole world seems to open up. It becomes a bit of an addiction because you can literally find anything on there. 
> 
> The shirt Yuuri has is an actual shirt I own and it's great and every scholar can relate to it. 
> 
> ((the man in the bowling shirt and cowboy boots is actually my professor and everyone wonders if he actually owns real shoes))


	4. Under Love's Heavy Burden (I Do Sink)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Viktor takes Yuuri on a surprise trip to Boston where they lament to old friends and a future together looms on the horizon.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for all the wonderful comments and kudos! They honestly mean the world to me and make me strive to get the new chapters out quicker. I'll start trying to reply to some of the ones left but I usually try to just dedicate that time to getting a new chapter out since that's what I think you guys would want more. If you like the story please let me know. I feel like this is such a niche category I wonder all the time if I should keep writing or leave as is. I love your guy's feedback and I'll be trying to be more active. You can always follow my Tumblr, I love when you guys reblog my chapter updates and your comments. They really keep me going!
> 
> I got rec'd by VicturriRecs on Tumblr so a big thank you from me to whoever did! (I'm still crying on the inside a bit)
> 
> You can find my tumblr in previous chapters, I always try to keep updating the status of the next chapter. 
> 
> Scroll down for some Shakespeare goodness!

It was another morning filled with Red Bull and Mountain Dew.

Ever since Dr. Viktor Nikiforov had walked into his life Yuuri found himself chugging more of the drinks then he did even in his master’s program. Viktor kept Yuuri on his toes, always questioning his ideas and challenging him to take his papers one step farther. Every advancement was met with a simple, ‘so what’ that was driving Yuuri crazy. He had never worked this hard in his life, and on top of having a full time job it was exhausting. His sleep schedule was a mess and the circles under his eyes were becoming all too noticeable.

To sum it up, Yuuri was exhausted physically and mentally.

It had been a rough week researching and he knew the more daunting task of writing lay ahead and he wasn’t particularly looking forward to it. He had a few critics to engage with, some of whom he had to argue with. Viktor was determined to make him a much more confident scholar.

He wasn’t sure what they’d be looking at today. Last night Yuuri had been ready to collapse at around 11 but Viktor had stayed until 1 pushing him about what all of his research meant. If Viktor asked, ‘so what’, one more time Yuuri thought he might actually strangle the man. 

His head was resting in the palm of his hand as he down the energy drink when the bell above the door jingled, alerting Yuuri to the first customer of the day. 

“Yuuri! I have a surprise for you!” Viktor announced, way too chipper for this early in the morning. 

Yuuri groaned inwardly at the sudden noise, wanting nothing more than to retreat under the covers and not resurface for several days. He was exhausted and Viktor’s “surprises” often just lead to more work, although it sometimes did turn out to be food.

Yuuri was hoping for the later. 

“What?” Yuuri asked, taking a long sip of his Red Bull in the hopes it would prepare him for whatever was about to come.

“We’re going into Boston for the day! I figure you’ve been working so hard and Chris wants to work with me on a paper. Plus you have friends there from grad school I figured it might be nice to see them too. Grab your bag and let’s hit the road!” Viktor said.

He looked handsome in the dim light of the hazy morning. He was wearing a black cashmere turtleneck sweater with tan slacks and a grey camel hair peacoat. Yuuri was beginning to think he had three versions of the same coat, just in different colors. It never ceased to amaze Yuuri the fact that Viktor was a world renowned scholar but seemed to barely function outside the academic realm. 

The words hit Yuuri a few seconds later. He couldn’t go to Boston, he had work which of course Viktor had forgotten.

“Viktor, I have work. I can’t just leave you know.” Yuuri said, a bit disappointed. He hadn’t seen Phitchit and his friends since he had graduated, although they had Skype group calls often. 

“I took care of it. Mr. Jones is going to watch the shop today. It’ll be fine. I rented a car and we’re all set,” he said beaming at the shocked younger man.

Why was Viktor like this.

“Alright then, let me get my things,” he said.

He headed upstairs grabbing his backpack, shoving a coat into it as well as his wallet into a backpack.

He headed back down to see Mr. Jones and Viktor chatting amicably.

“Ah, Yuuri. You’re ready then? I believe it’s about a two hour drive, so not so bad I’m sure,” Viktor explained.

“Ah, Boston. Back in the day it’s where we rare book collector’s found so many real treasures. Some great stuff I tell you-”

“I’d love to hear all about it Mr. Jones but Yuuri and I must really be going. I made plans with Dr. Giacometti for lunch,” Viktor explained.

“Go, have fun. Ah, to be young again,” He said, a cheerful smile on his face.

The pair headed out and Yuuri was struck by the expensive Mercedes that awaited them. Of course Viktor had to rent an obnoxiously expensive car, this was Viktor Nikiforov and the man was anything but subtle. 

Noticing Yuuri looking at the car, Viktor became a bit nervous. Was it a bit much? He had been trying to impress Yuuri, but now he was beginning to second guess himself, Yuuri wasn’t like the others he had dated over a year, maybe he wouldn’t be that impressed by a car.

“Do you like it? Viktor asked, trying to put on a confident facade.

“It’s nice I guess but it’s just a car,” Yuuri said, a bit confused as to why Viktor.

Viktor smiled, and motioned for Yuuri to get in the passenger’s side.

“Don’t you think I should drive, do you even have a license?” Yuuri asked a bit worried.

“Do I need one?” Viktor asked.

Yuuri stared at the man dumbfounded. How he managed to get this far in life he would never know.

“How did you even rent a car without a license?” Yuuri asked.

Viktor shrugged, climbing into the driver’s side.

“Viktor you can’t drive without a license,” Yuuri said a bit exacerbated

“Really? I like going fast though, it’s always so fun,” Viktor whined.

Yuuri sighed, “Viktor come on we can’t have you getting arrested.”

“Fine, you can drive then,” Viktor relented. 

They got in their seats and started the drive. It was lucky for Viktor it was a pretty straight drive to Boston and Yuuri knew the way. Thinking about it for a second, Yuuri began to wonder how Viktor was even going to navigate to get them there. 

Glancing over at the man next to him he wondered a lot. He was so handsome, and Yuuri couldn’t help the butterflies that seemed to emerge from nowhere whenever he looked at the other man. Still, Viktor was his mentor and there was no way he could have feelings for a nobody like Yuuri. Despite this, he felt like he wanted to know more about him. Why was he like this, over the top at times and always doing things on a whim. It seemed like he was so different off the page and it made Yuuri curious as to why.

“So you went to college in Boston right?” Viktor asked, breaking the temporary silence.

“Yah, Boston University. It’s a nice city have you ever been?” Yuuri asked.

“Nope! This is my first time,” Viktor said.

Yuuri was a bit stunned, although he knew he really shouldn’t be. Of course Viktor would take a job in a city he’d never been to.

The man was an enigma. 

“It’s a really nice city, it has a quiet kind of feel to it. It doesn't really feel like a city. I really liked it when I lived here,” Yuuri explained.

“Did you miss it?” Viktor asked.

Yuuri thought for a moment, “I guess so. I missed parts of it. This little coffee shop that had really good lattes and was open pretty late. The library was pretty nice, you could sequester yourself into an area and be alone with your thoughts. I guess I miss it.”

“Are you excited to be back then?” He asked.

“I’m excited to see my old friends from grad school and my old room mate, Phitchit. He and I went to conferences together sometimes and just generally hung out quite a bit. Leo’s cool too, he’s a linguist. He’d hang around the English department a lot as he did Ren stuff from time to time. There was Guang-Hong too, I think he did text preservation but he was an undergrad. Seung Gil was the quiet one, he did Italian Ren lit as I remember,” Yuuri explain reminiscing on his grad school years. 

“It sounds like a good group,” he commented.

“It was, we all got along well and had a lot of the same professors so we’d all complain about them together. It was really nice.”

“Grad school is nice in that you’re pretty much with the same people and you kind of bond with them over your professors and mutual suffering,” Viktor agreed.

He felt privileged by the information Yuuri was sharing, it was nice when the younger man decided to open up to him a bit.

Yuuri laughed, a rare sound Viktor enjoyed immensely.

“Oh we all suffered, we’d have group all nighters where we just tried our best to keep each other up and working. We’d cram together too, and complain about the professors it was a time,” he explained.

“My friend the one we’re having lunch with later, Christophe, we were inseparable back when we were grad students. We met at a Ren program over in the UK at the Shakespeare Institute and we had all the same classes together. Then he betrayed me and decided to study Ben Johnson,” Viktor said chuckling a bit.

“Oh, Dr. Giacometti? I’ve read some of his work in a Ren journal...it’s uh...something,” Yuuri said, flushing at the memory.

Viktor laughed, “Ah yes, Chris’ work is something. I may not always agree with him, but it is always an interesting read. I’m not really a fan on Ben Johnson though, I mean come on who publishes an anthology of their own work?” 

Yuuri let out a small laugh, “They do seem a bit similar, perhaps that’s why he chose him.”

Viktor smiled, “I’ve been saying that for years.”

“It makes sense. Viktor can I ask you something?” Yuuri asked, suddenly shy.

Viktor looked over at the man, curious as to what he wanted to ask.

“Of course.”

“Wh-Why did you choose Shakespeare?”

Viktor was a bit taken aback by the question. People tended to ask for his opinion on this or that in terms of papers and thoughts. They never seemed to ask why, why he’d fallen in love with the famous Bard in the first place. It seemed like they were only concerned with the intellectual, Dr. Nikiforov, and not the man, Viktor. He was touched by Yuuri’s curiosity and pondered the question for a few moments. 

“I guess because it made me feel. Because you can relate to the characters and they seem so human, for the better or the worse. I disagree immensely with the claim that Shakespeare, ‘invented the human’, but there’s something so wonderfully human about his work. And then you look at the language, the times he utilizes verse, how you feel every word. It’s all so wonderfully intricate, like a delicate web,” he explained, his eyes shining, as he talked, with something Yuuri couldn’t quite place. 

Yuuri had seen Viktor look at him like that. 

“What about you?” Viktor asked.

Yuuri flushed. He didn’t want to admit that he had been hooked when he had read one of Viktor’s papers as a sophomore. It had grabbed his attention, made him interested in analyzing the text in a deeper, and more meaningful, way. The way Viktor engaged with it was fascinating, he wanted to add to the discussion, to make an impact in the scholarly world. 

It had driven him ever since.

Yuuri thought for a moment, remembering his childhood. Remembering reading on the playground, watching the plays for the first, the smell of the small library down the street. It had made him feel so alive as a child, had brought him to another world so unlike his own.

“Well,” he began “I really loved the War of the Roses, I found it really interesting along with Tudor history. I ended up reading his works and kinda fell in love. Everything’s so vivid and so moving. When you’re watching a performance, you’re in another world, in his world. You’re not thinking about what awaits you once it ends. You’re thinking about what’s going to happen next. Shakespeare puts you in another world, I guess in part, because all of his characters are so wonderfully human. They’re all so complicated and flawed. You root them on, and you watch it unfold.”

Viktor looked at him critically, making Yuuri a little nervous.

Viktor grinned, “That’s a wonderful point Yuuri. I feel like people tend to get too wrapped up in the text sometimes. It’s always important to remember that it was performed. I’m guilty of it sometimes as well, I forget about the aspect of it appearing on stage.”

There was something so human about this moment, the lead Shakespearean admitting that he sometimes forgot about the performativity of pieces, that was deeply endearing to Yuuri. Whenever he opened up, Viktor met him halfway.  
______________  
The rest of the ride was filled with conversation about various articles they had been reading. Viktor grilled Yuuri on his sources, what they were doing for his paper, where they were from, and especially how he was engaging with them.

One thing Yuuri had learned early on was how savage Viktor could be in his comments. He didn’t mean any harm, Yuuri was almost certain as he always said them with a smile on his face, but they were so cutting and precise and always left Yuuri feeling horribly inadequate.

He wondered if it was a Russian thing.

They arrived in Boston around 11 and parked by Yuuri’s old apartment. There was a T stop not too far from where he lived and he knew how to get anywhere in the city from it. He sent a quick text to Phitchit about being in the city for a day knowing he was at work until around 3 when they’d be able to meet up.

They were having lunch with Christophe around noon and afterwards they would split up, Viktor going to discuss and do a bit of work with Chris and Yuuri going to hang out with Phitchit. While Phitchit was unaware Yuuri would be stopping by he knew his old friend wouldn’t pass up a chance for them to hang out. 

“We have a bit of time before we’re due to meet Chris, do you wanna see my new office since the place we’re eating at is right by there anyways?” Viktor asked.

“Sure, you haven’t seen it yet have you?”

“Nope, haven’t a clue what it looked like. I hope it has a bunch of old bookshelves and furniture though. It’ll give it character, make me look like a real Shakespearean.”

Yuuri wanted to comment that he was definitely a real Shakespearean, no one was doubting that. 

They walked and chatted a bit, Yuuri filling Viktor in on the city and how the Tube ran explaining how to know when to get off and all the nuances of the system. All the while Viktor was taking the city in.

It was quite different from St. Petersburg. Boston seemed much quieter, more relaxed. It was an interesting city, old buildings juxtaposed next to newly built skyscrapers. People quietly went about their lives, some where interestingly dressed. It seemed like a very relaxed city, no one really in a hurry, but everyone on their way to somewhere. 

Yuuri watched Viktor take in all in out of the corner of his eyes. To be honest he had been a bit nervous that Viktor would hate it here and want to go back, but it seemed he found the city interesting from the glimmer in his eyes.

It was a lovely city, one Yuuri found himself calling home and he hoped Viktor could find it be home as well. The thought made him blush a bit, thinking about all that could be. But he stomped the thoughts out his head before they could form, it would do him no good to dream of things that would never be. It was better not to get his hopes up, then be crushed by the inevitable rejection.

Soon enough they reached Harvard college and Yuuri could only look on in awe. Harvard had been in the same city, sure, but it had always felt miles away. It had always seemed out of reach, like a dream you couldn’t hold onto.

Viktor pulled out his phone, looking for the email that had told him which office would be his. Of course he got an office right away, he was Dr. Nikiforov anyways. He didn’t, however, have tenure, and was currently on the faculty as a visiting professor but would most likely be offered the position if he wished to stay.

They walked along to the older building, once they managed to find it of course. After climbing several sets of stairs they wandered down the hallway until they found the right room. It was next to other professor’s offices and had his name next to the door, under which was the school’s crest.

The office itself was completely barren as they walked in. All that was there was a medium sized desk and a sad looking bookshelf. The walls were a cream color, and intricate crown molding graced the top of the walls. Viktor stepped fully into the room, looking around and appearing deep in thought.

“This room needs a lot of work. I’ll have to bring in a couch and some decent chairs. Invest in some bookshelves once my collection gets here. I’ll need some stuff to hang on the walls, they’re so barren looking. Some pictures of Makkachin will brighten it up,” Viktor said pointing to the various places he was hoping to put everything.

It wasn’t a big room by any means, but it could fit a small couch and a few bookshelves well enough. However, this was Viktor after all and he always was a bit over the top so Yuuri had to wonder how feasible his plan really was. 

Viktor seemed very intrigued by the new project, however, and his eyes were sparkling at all the ideas popping into his head. 

While it seemed that a good majority of Yuuri’s old professors had seemed barely capable of putting together decent looking outfits, Viktor was quite the opposite. He was always dressed to the nines, and seemed to be thriving on the fact he could now decorate this new office however he liked. 

There was the running joke between Yuuri and his friends that once you received a Ph.D you lost any fashion sense you once had. Conferences only served to highlight the fact, it seemed. 

Viktor was a breath of fresh air in an otherwise somewhat stale department. English professors weren’t known to be especially eccentric, but they could be boring at times. Then he came in with his charisma, charm, and natural intelligence and shook the field up a bit.

Watching Viktor consider the room felt intimate, like he was watching the inner workings of the man’s mind. He could see it all in his eyes as he flittered about the rooming, staring at a particular place for a minute and then moving on.

It seemed like he was visualizing it all, as if it was all coming to being before him.

Yuuri was fascinated and couldn't seem to look away. The way the man engaged with everything always seemed to fascinate him, and now he was getting a look at it first hand.

He wondered for a brief moment if anyone else had seen Viktor like this.

If they’d seen him so deep in thought he seemed wholly consumed by it. If they’d noticed the way he put his finger to his lips when he was considering something, or the distracted way he ran his fingers through his hair.

It was an intimate moment, Viktor standing in front of the window, the light illuminating him gently. Yuuri was always struck by how handsome the man was, but he seemed so close in this instant. All he had to do was reach out and touch him, to hold his hand, to kiss him.

But the moment passed and Viktor was struck out of this thoughts by a soft knock on the door. 

The pair turned to see a blonde man with beautiful green eyes and circular glasses standing in the doorway. He wore a deep purple sweater and tan slacks with brown leather shoes.

“Chris it’s so good to see you again,” Viktor said, turning around and smiling at the man.

“It’s been a while. I barely even remember last time what with all the vodka you practically poured down my throat,” Chris commented leaning against the door.

Viktor rolled his eyes, “Me make you do anything? We both know how impossible that is.”

Chris laughed lightly, a playful smile gracing his features. 

“So is this your new protege I’ve been hearing all about? You should really drop me a text when you make a life altering decision you know, it’s the polite thing to do.”

“Yes, this is Yuuri. He’ll be attending here next fall in the Ren program,” Viktor said introducing them.

“Nice to meet you, Dr. Giacometti. I’ve heard so much about you,” Yuuri added politely.

“It’s Chris, and what you heard was probably garbage. As I’m sure you’ve noticed by now our beloved Viktor has quite the flair for being a drama queen,” He explained.

From Yuuri’s previous knowledge of Chris, he gathered the two of them were old friends. He remembered Viktor mentioning that the two of them had been in the same program a couple of years back and that they had grown quite close. 

Yuuri wondered if there was something more to it.

Afterall, why would Viktor choose a Ph.D student over someone well established in the field and so clearly more attractive then him. His heart sank a bit at the realization, his gaze downcast.

“Alright, Giacometti, all of those ideas were yours and you know it. Speaking of ideas, where are we going for lunch. You know there’s little more I love than food,” Viktor said.

“Well,” he began “there’s a little bistro not too far from here that I’m in love with. Charles and I always go there for lunch.”

“I trust Charles recommendation more than yours, I just want to make that clear,” Viktor said following Chris. Yuuri followed behind them, very much feeling like a third wheel. He just wanted today to end, he was tired and he’d have to watch Viktor get hit on over lunch.

They walked about five minutes to a small bistro tucked between some cheesy Harvard store and a Dunkin Donuts. It was a small place, with minimal seating and a minimalist decor. They sat down, Chris recommending various things from the menu.

“I hope you don’t mind if Charles comes and joins us, today is our usual lunch day,” Chris explained.

“Not at all, I actually prefer his company to yours you just never seem to get the hint,” Viktor said.

A man walked up to the table with longer brown hair in a fitting black suit. He had kind brown eyes, and he gave Chris a kiss on the cheek as he sat down.

Oh was all Yuuri could think, Charles must be Chris’ boyfriend. That would make sense. Yuuri felt ashamed for both jumping to conclusions and getting so despondent over the fact that Viktor might be interested in someone. Of course Viktor was going to be interested in other people, he really had best get over whatever this was. 

“Viktor, it’s nice seeing you again,” Charles commented, sitting down at the table.

“Likewise, I thought I was going to be stuck with Chris all day. The horror,” Viktor commented dryly.

They laughed and Viktor introduced Yuuri.

“This is Yuuri, I’ve been helping him work on his paper for admission into the Ph.D program over at Harvard. Yuuri this is Chris’ long time partner, Charles.”

“It’s nice to meet you Yuuri, it’s not every day Viktor actually does something outside of research, it’s good you’re getting him out and about,” Charles commented.

“Oh please I do things too you know,” Viktor said, trying to defend himself.

Chris snorted, “Yes of course, research, more research, and writing. You really need to get out more old man.”

“I’m a year older than you, that hardly qualifies me as old,” Viktor retorted, blushing a bit. He was sure his friends were actively trying to embarrass and harass him.

Yuuri was familiar with banter, his friends did it quite often back in grad school. Still, Yuuri was intensely quiet and really only prefered to watch it all. It was a bit much for him if he was honest. 

They went up and ordered, each choosing something different and continued to chat and reminisce as they waited for their order. Occasionally, they’d ask Yuuri a question and he’d give a small answer. When their orders were ready they went back to their table and the conversation turned more academic, Chris grilling Viktor on his next paper. 

“So what are you working on next, it seems like everything you write on turns into the next big trend. You saw what happened when you talked about prose and the breakdown of iambic pentameter in Shakespeare Quarterly. Suddenly everyone wants to talk about the hierarchy of verse,” Chris said.

“I’m not working on anything currently,” Viktor said, taking a bit of his panini.

Yuuri swore he saw something flash in Chris’ eyes, something like surprise, but as quickly as it was there it was gone leaving Yuuri to second guess himself.

“Well, we’ll just have to continue our work of Ben Johnson’s preface to the folio,” Chris said.

Yuuri let out a small laugh at the memory of the piece it was truly a treasure. 

The conversation then drifted to what Yuuri was working on and he explained his proposal of what the strawberries on Desdemona's handkerchief meant according to the time period and what they would have meant to the audience at the time.

It was a nice lunch, and Yuuri began to open up a bit more and enjoy the conversation. 

He received a text halfway through, letting Yuuri know that Phitchit would meet them at their old hang out around 1, as he had gotten off of work early. He also mentioned that the group would love to go to dinner with him, and that Dr. Nikiforov was invited. 

Yuuri was excited to see his old friend who would no doubt talk his ear off about his hamsters. Last they talked his three hamsters, named Watson, Shepard, and Gandalf, had been doing well. They had all been named after various characters and Yuuri was their designated Godfather. 

They finished up lunch and Viktor went with Chris to talk about their paper and research while Yuuri headed down to their old coffee shop.  
__________________

“You’re in love and you didn’t even tell me. I thought we talked about you telling me life altering decisions Viktor,” Chris stated once he closed the door to his office.

Viktor sighed, he had known this was coming. Chris was his best friend and he trusted the man, but this wasn’t something he wanted to discuss as he was a little unsure where things were himself.

“What was I supposed to do, send you a text?” He quipped back, attempting to avoid the subject. 

“It would have been better then you showing up mooning over him,” Chris stated taking a seat behind his desk. Viktor sat on a chair in front, feeling like a schoolboy being reprimanded by his principle.

“Is it that obvious?” Viktor asked, a bit ashamed.

“A blind man could see it. I’ve never seen you have it this bad. He talks and you light up,” Chris said in a matter of fact manner.

Viktor groaned, “I can’t help it okay? He’s just so cute and so smart and he’s so shy. But when he opens up it’s wonderful. I want to see him like that all the time.”

“Wow, you moved from St. Petersburg for him didn’t you?”

“Partially, I had been looking for an excuse to move for forever. And then he came along. It’s amazing Chris, he wants to know Viktor, not Dr. Nikiforov. That’s never happened before, ever. Everyone always just wants feedback on their papers or is only friends with me for the prestige or some shit. But he asks me about my interests and my passions because he genuinely wants to know. He wanted to know why I loved Shakespeare on the way down here like how did you not expect me to fall for him?” Viktor explained.

“Wow, first off that’s really gay. Second, you’ve got it bad. What are you going to do about it? You can’t just pin after him forever you know,” Chris pointed out. 

“I don’t know. He’s really shy I don’t want to do anything that would make him uncomfortable. I’m also not sure if he’ll be my student and how that even would work. I’ve been talking with the university about which courses I’ll be teaching.”

“I think it’s different if he’s a doctoral candidate. What are you going to do if they say no? Pine after him for eight years? Viktor, you can’t do that too yourself. I won’t let you,” Chris said.

Viktor sighed, he would wait forever for Yuuri, that much he was sure of.

Across the city Yuuri was walking through the door to his and Phitchit’s favorite coffee shop. Back in his grad school days they would frequently meet and talk over papers together. Many late nights were dotted with coffee runs to give them the burst of energy they were desperately craving. 

He saw his old friend sitting at their favorite table towards the back.

“Phitchit!” Yuuri called, causing the younger man to look up from his phone.

“Yuuri it’s so good to see you, we’ve all missed you,” Phitchit said greeting his friend.

“It’s good to be back, I forgot how much I’ve missed this city,” Yuuri said, taking a seat across from his friend. 

Phitchit smiled, “I could never live in a small town in the middle of nowhere like you do, how do you do it Katsuki?”

Yuuri laughed, it felt good to be with familiar company once again. With Phitchit he could really let his guard down and be himself.

“Well I’ve just been catching up on all the shows I’ve missed over the years. Netflix is a thing of great beauty,” Yuuri said.

Back in grad school Yuuri didn’t allow himself new shows or rewatching old ones in order to better focus on his studies. While they admired his commitment, many of his friends made fun of him for constantly having to leave conversations due to avoiding spoilers. 

“Netflix is. Are you going to get rid of it now you’ve got Nikiforov?” he asked.

Yuuri looked away, he had known it was going to come to this. Maybe, he should let Phithcit in. It wasn’t like he was going to tell the man anyways, he reminded himself to trust his friend.

“Yah, now that I’m looking to get in Harvard’s program I really only have month before the application is due. Viktor’s really been pushing me recently,” Yuuri said.

“Harvard? Jesus Yuuri, I mean you were always the one of us who could get in but wow man. I mean good for you but that’s just crazy. We used to just dream about it. I mean you used to dream about Nikiforov too, how is that by the way?”

“It’s something. I-I like him. Alot Phithcit. But he’s Viktor Nikiforov how on Earth could I have a chance with him. I’ve been trying to get rid of these stupid feelings I have. It’s like whenever I see him everything else sort of fades away. Like it’s just us, like it’s always supposed to be just us. I don’t really know how to explain it all that well,” Yuuri said.

“Wow, you’ve got it bad Yuuri,” Phitchit.

Throughout grad school, a fair amount of people from both the sexes had had crushes on the reclusive Renaissance student. Yuuri, however, never really seemed to show any interest, preferring to bury himself in his studies. For Yuuri to show this much interest in someone, surprised Phithcit.

It also made him worry.

He didn’t know much about Nikiforov outside of his professional work and he couldn’t help but wonder what his intentions towards his best friend were. Yuuri was clearly invested in whatever this was, and he couldn’t stand to see him get hurt. Ever since they had been undergrads Yuuri had always harbored feelings for the man, and now it was clear how deep they were.

Yuuri sighed deeply, “I know Phichit, and I have no clue what to do. He’s so far out of my league.”

“Don’t say that, anyone would be lucky to have you. You’re smart and so kind and just a wonderful person. If Nikiforov can’t see it then he’s not as smart as his papers make him out to be.”

“I guess,” Yuuri said, not really believing it.

They changed the topic to Yuuri’s Godhamsters which Phithcit was all too happy to discuss. Talking with Phitchit felt familiar and helped put Yuuri at ease. Dinner tonight with his old friends and Viktor would certainly be interesting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I call everything Ren because tbh that's what we all call it in my program. No one says Renaissance but that's what I mean. Just like we call medieval studies med. I'm a medren person since I do a lot of both. it's just implied you know what it means in a lot of departments. You really only ever say Renaissance if you're being obnoxious, at least within the English department. Outside of the department no one has any idea what you're talking about. 
> 
> English professors are really something. They can be extremely petty towards each other and I live for it. Especially when they're in the same field. It's great to watch. As such, I imagine Chris and Viktor being old friends and generally having great witty banter. Everyone in the English department here is extremely sarcastic and witty so I think it fits. 
> 
> I imagine Chris a bit older and only a year younger then Viktor, the dude needs some friends. In canon I always picture him to be a bit of a workaholic so I figured I'd transfer that over to fiction as well. 
> 
> I really recommend reading Ben Johnson's preface to Shakespeare's work in the first folio it's GOLD and petty af and I love it holy shit. It reminds me of some shit my friends would pull. A folio is basically a collection of Shakespeare's works, they printed books differently back then which is why it's called that because they would fold the pages a certain way.


	5. With Mirth and Laughter (Let Wrinkles Come)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dinner with some friends talking about the struggles of academia before heading to bar.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry I've been so absent! Things are crazy here with grad school apps coming due! Your comments and kudos really made me dig deep to pull this chapter out.

Yuuri chatted with Phitchit about this and that until he saw his friends walking in the doorway. He had forgotten how much he had missed them, how lonely his apartment had felt without his friends. They all smiled and settled in as though no time had passed at all. Yuuri smiled, feeling warm affection for his friends spread. They had all struggled together, had been there for each other during late night break downs and put up with each other on days when they had little to no sleep. They had been there for each other every step of the way, and Yuuri was reminded just how grateful he was for them. 

Everyone was clearly glad to see him and it made him feel so wonderfully appreciated and whole. He had forgotten how lonely he had been, basically just living at the book shop and coming home to Netflix. 

“So, tell us about Nikiforov,” Leo said once everyone had finally gotten comfortable.

Yuuri blushed, he knew his friends were nosey and they had spent many nights listening to him drone on and on about the famous Shakespearean. He felt embarrassed thinking back to all the drunken rants about Nikiforov and his perfect hair, and his dumb smile and who else knows what. Afterall, How many days had he spent sequestered away reading his new pieces?

“He’s good,” was all Yuuri could really manage, glancing away.

Everyone stared at him, waiting for more. While it was like Yuuri to be quiet, once you got him on a topic he liked he would open up. They assumed that since it was Nikiforov they were talking Yuuri would spill his guts, he had idolized the man for years and now suddenly they were spending everyday together. Surely, Yuuri had something to say on the matter.

Yuuri stayed silent, unwilling to divulge anything to the group. He held his feelings close to his chest, especially for Viktor. While he had been more open in the past about how he felt about Viktor, things were changing quickly and he had become a bit afraid of his fondness for the older man. Yuuri felt guilty about his new feelings, like he wasn’t supposed to have them. Afterall, Viktor was just helping him, how could he repay him with nothing but hopeless fantasies. There was no way he would return his feelings, of that the young man was certain. 

“Yuuri, you’ve been following him for years, he comes to your town, does a book signing and then comes back just for you. What on Earth happened? You can’t keep us in suspense like this,” Leo implored. 

“I mean I don’t really know what happened either,” he began “I guess he came back. I don’t know what for so don’t ask. I guess it’s just important he did. It’s like he sees something in me, something I don’t. I don’t know, maybe I’m too close to see it, but he believes in me. It’s a crazy feeling, when someone you’ve looked up to for so long believes in you. All those years I spent looking up to him, and now…” he trailed off, uncertain how to continue.

“We’re happy for you though, we know how long you’ve wanted this. How much you wanted to continue,” Guang-Hong said, his eyes full of warmth. 

“I know,” Yuuri said quietly. After he had gotten rejected he had made the decision to go home and had moved out within the weak, unable to face rejection. It had hurt even more to face his friends, their looks of disappointment. He couldn’t take their pity or their sad lingering glances and he had left without much of a goodbye. 

“We knew you could do this, and it only shows to go we were right. You have it in you Yuuri, you can go the distance. We know you will,” Phitchit said.

“Besides when have I ever been wrong?” Seung Gil added. 

They all laughed, knowing how anal intensive Seung Gil was about being right. He prided himself on his knowledge, and wasn’t the kind of person to speak up unless he was confident what he was saying was correct. 

Yuuri couldn’t help but feel better after being reassured by his friends. Doctoral candidacy was a scary prospect, one that filled him with intense anxiety. It all seemed so uncertain. He’d have to interview, and present his paper topic, there were so many hoops to jump through without any safety net in place. It was absolutely nerve wracking, and to be honest he hadn’t gotten much sleep since he had started down the path. It was nice his friends were in similar boats, each a bit uncertain of their path forward.

They were figuring it all out together, and that thought comforted Yuuri. At times he felt so lost, but Viktor believed in him and his friends were right there with him.

“So how have things been here?” Yuuri asked, changing the subject to one he was more comfortable with.

If his friends noticed the blatant change in the conversation topic they didn’t push. They talked about their various professors, the intense amount of grad school work, and the late nights. They regaled Yuuri with their wild stories, the adventures they had had while he was away. It was nice, Yuuri thought to himself, to be back in the city he loved with his close friends. 

Suddenly his phone buzzed, a message from Viktor on the screen.

Ready for dinner when you are, is it cool if a few colleagues meet us for drinks afterwards? 

Yuuri typed back a quick reply that it was fine, he was curious who Viktor would be bringing with him. He wondered absentmindedly if it was anyone he was romantically involved with. He was still embarrassed for thinking he and Chris were a thing, it had been a stupid assumption and one that turned out to be baseless after all. He wanted it all to go away, all these feelings. The way when Viktor came into the room warmth and happiness flooded over him and they way that when he left he felt lonely and despondent all over again. Yuuri hated himself for it, staying up half the night was punishment for it wracking his brain over every single interaction he had with the man that day.

Viktor was driving him crazy.

“Earth to Yuuri,” Phithchit said calling him back.

His friends knew he could get caught up in his thoughts quite often, and could become distant and despondent to conversation. They had always understood and managed to get him back involved in the conversation. Leo was discussing one professor who seemed to constantly be ranting about another professor they hated, who was his mentor, and apparently an inner department rivalry had formed between the two which was causing problems for everyone.

They all laughed, it was well known that English majors could be quite petty, especially when given the chance. They had all enjoyed watching the inner department drama from the safety of the sidelines on numerous occasions. It was only when the department chair stepped in that you knew things were serious and even then it was fun to watch. The department was known for their way with words, naturally, so conflicts always seemed escalated as the professors could do a lot of damage to each other with a few words. 

Viktor was well liked, no one could say anything bad except that maybe he was a little pretentious, but that was to be expected. Afterall, not only did he win numerous awards but he invented a whole new school of literary theory. 

Yuuri sighed, lost again in his thoughts. Why on Earth did Viktor believe in him, it wasn’t like the older man to mentor people. All these years he had been fleeting, here then there, and always unobtainable. It seemed like his dream of being on the same level, of Viktor agreeing with his work, was now right before him. Sure, he pushed him constantly, always asking a thousand questions and challenging him on his claims. But there were times when he would defend himself that Viktor’s eyes would sparkle, a small grin creeping up his face. It was clear then, in those moments that he was proud of Yuuri. It all seemed like a dream, for so long had the idea of Viktor, and his acceptance, driven him that now that he had it he was a bit at a loss. He felt like he should get it all off his chest, but Yuuri was painfully shy and the knots of feelings resting low in his gut didn’t do anything to help the uneasiness that was creeping up.

Viktor was his mentor, he couldn’t, shouldn’t have feelings for him. It would end in nothing but disaster and heartbreak. Yuuri was well aware of the road he was heading down, and he knew that it would only end poorly. He knew he was self sabotaging but God those moments, those moments where he laughed, where he smiled captivated him, made him feel more alive than he had in years.

Yuuri hated himself for it.

This could drag Viktor down all too easily, he couldn’t do that to him. He respected the man far too much that to mar his name with an alleged illicit affair. That’s all this could be anyways. While Masters degrees where a sprint, Doctoral Candidacy was a marathon that took years to complete. Surely, Viktor wouldn’t return his feelings and even if he did all it could ever be was a fleeting romance, one that would never withstand the stress that Yuuri was sure to face.

The knot in his stomach grew at the thoughts, and at the thought of Viktor. 

He was startled out of his thoughts by his phone buzzing, a text from viktor letting him know what restaurant he was at, it was only a few block away and Yuuri knew it well. Granted he had been a stereotypical broke Grad student and had only really eaten there when someone else was paying.

“Ooh a text from Viktor I see, the topic of his next great paper perhaps?” Phithcit asked seeing Yuuri glance at his phone.

Yuuri laughed, “No just telling us he’s meeting us at Tiffin.”

Tiffin was a local Indian food place that served the best Naan bread and their lamb was always perfectly cooked as well. 

“Well let’s go then, don’t want to keep the great Dr. Nikiforov waiting do we?” Phitchit asked getting up.

The rest of the gang got up, still continuing their chat about MLA 8th edition and the debate about whether or not it was complete garbage. They all walked together with Yuuri and Phitchit hanging out towards the black, walking together at a slightly slower pace, just out of the earshot of the other group.

“You alright Yuuri? You’re spacier than usual, you can talk to me you know.” Phichit said, looking at his best friend. 

Yuuri sighed, readjusting his glasses. He didn’t know if talking to Phichit would help ease the knot in his stomach, but the least he could do was try.

“Yah, I mean you know. You know how I feel about Viktor and it’s so wrong like he’s going to a professor and the school and I just can’t,” he explained, letting the words rush out.

“I know, I mean I don’t know if it’ll be different since you’ll be a doctoral candidate. I mean he just started teaching their so I doubt they’d jump him right up to do graduate level stuff. Even in college you have to work your way up you know? I think it’ll be okay Yuuri,” He said, trying to give his friend some encouragement.

“I can’t do that to him Phitchit, you know shit like this can ruin a career and that’s assuming something will happen which it won’t. There’s no way. I get to pine after him for eight years and nothing can come of it, nothing good anyways.”

“You’re a catch and you know it come on. Soon you’ll be a Harvard scholar as well as having published pieces and you’ve got looks as well, you’re the whole package. Sometimes love is just slow is all. You just have to be patient,” Phichit said. 

“I guess, it just all seems so wrong. So wonderfully wrong, like I’m headed for disaster and I can’t stop it and even if I could I wouldn’t want to. It’s like I’m spiraling out of control and enjoying it. This can’t end well Phichit.” 

“Maybe it will, just give it a chance,” Phitchit replied 

They arrived at the small Indian eatery a little chilled by the frigid wind, but in better spirits. Yuuri felt the knot unwind a bit, but upon seeing Viktor it wound back up again and everything he had spent so long stifling came right back up again.

“Yuuri,” He called, signaling them over to the table where he and Chris sat. 

Hearing Viktor call his name, clearly happy for his presence, eyes bright did things to him that he never wanted to put a name to. 

They all sat down and Yuuri made introductions, introducing each of his friends and what their specialty was. It was a given at this point that everyone they hung out with was an English scholar, it now only mattered what they focused on. 

Conversation flowed easily as they discussed the various memories of the place and the food.

“The food here is good, I promise, but it’s heavenly when you’re drunk. Not that we would know, right Yuuri?” Phitchit elaborated, bumping Yuuri with his elbow.

Yuuri laughed, letting his guard down a bit. It was good to be around friends in a familiar environment. They had spent so much time in the small eatery laughing and arguing that it had become their place, and it was a place Yuuri felt very much at home in. The decor was very modern, with small candles scattered everywhere and the lights down low. 

“I wouldn’t know, I have never drank alcohol in my life.” Yuuri said sipping his glass of wine.

The table erupted in laughter and snickers at the blatant lie. 

“Oh come on it’s not like I was the party king, I’m not JJ or Phitchit for that matter. I just enjoy a nice glass of wine every once and awhile.” Yuuri said.

The JJ in question was a particularly full of himself French literature major who was the definition of Extra. Apparently he was Canadian, but he hardly fit the stereotype strutting around in expensive designer clothes with his girlfriend on his arm decked out in a similar fashion. Their group had found the pair of them annoying, but since JJ was a French literature student, their paths hardly seemed to cross. It was widely rumored, after all, that he had commissioned his own theme song. 

English majors, and the English Department as a whole, was chiefly known for two things; being over the top and being highly competitive. It seemed like it was always a race to the top and people competing, even against their closest friends. While the department seemed to get along relatively well with each other there was this deep rooted undercurrent of competitiveness within the programs. It was hard enough to get into grad school and then everyone would fight over the small amount of assistantships which act as a tuition waiver.

Still, Yuuri enjoyed the atmosphere and the competitive nature of the department only served to make him more motivated. They often all motivated each other, being in different specialties made it so they weren’t directly competing against one another. Still it motivated them to work harder, and to be better writers, as they often went over each other’s work.

Soon enough the waitress came and they ordered with Yuuri ordering his usual Lamb Curry. 

“So, Dr. Nikiforov are you hoping to teach nearby then?” Phithcit asked, redirecting the conversation.

“Call me Viktor please,” he began. “I’ve been offered a position at Harvard as a visiting professor,” he explained, taking a sip of the glass of red wine. 

“It’s just so he can bother me of course,” Chris said.

Viktor laughed, and Yuuri took a long sip of his wine trying to both remember the sound forever and will it to the abyss. 

“While Chris and I have been friends for many years, dating back to our times at the Shakespeare Institute, I only bother him on occasion. And that occasion is usually when I have a glass of wine in my hand,” Viktor explained. 

The table laughed at that and Yuuri found himself blushing. It was so interesting to see Viktor in all these different situations, he felt as though he was getting to know all of him, not just the sides the public saw. He felt as if he was getting to see every side of Viktor, both the professional and the personal. Yuuri glanced at the man, seeing Viktor smiling made his heart flutter, something he wish he could ignore.

Viktor was his mentor, and soon to be his professor. It could never be, all he was doing was heading for heartbreak.

Chris rolled his eyes, “Viktor you know better than to lie. I know you came all the way from Russia just to bother me. I’ll have you all know I’ve gotten nothing done this week because someone keeps emailing me Shakespeare memes.”

Viktor grinned as he sipped his wine, “Who doesn’t enjoy a good classical joke though?” 

The table laughed and Yuuri wondered if he had ever been so in love.

“Well,” Phitchit began “I once wrote an entire paper on a meme before so I have no room to talk.”

“Really?” Chris asked “I think my wildest paper topic was in my senior year of my undergrad. I wrote on bears as a recurring joke in the Globe. A meme if you will.”

Viktor laughed, “I never knew you wrote on that. Everyone has that one crazy topic I suppose.”  
Everyone agreed. Paper topics were fun to choose and there were times where one could choose a more outlandish topic for the hell of it, it made the whole process a bit more fun. There were, of course, times one could and couldn’t get away with it and serious topics were often the focus of papers. Still, everyone had that one paper where they got to stretch their legs and do something a little of the beaten path.

“Go on then, what was yours?” Chris asked.

“Never had one,” Viktor replied casually.

Chris shot him a look, “That’s such a lie Nikiforov.”

“It’s not,” Viktor said taking a long sip of wine “I never had the chance to. Everything was always so competitive and I couldn’t risk it.”

No one else seemed to bat an eye at this and the topic of conversation switched to the favorite papers each of them had authored. Yuuri was struck by the simple comment, and the implications that tagged along with it. He snuck a glance at the man over the rim of the glass of wine as he took a long drink. 

He supposed Viktor’s path to the top had been different, and no doubt littered numerous casualties, but the comment hinted at something far darker. Had Viktor not been allowed to enjoy himself? His mentor, Yakov, was not known for being particularly understanding of warm but now Yuuri was left wondering how far that extended. He wondered what was underneath that bubbly and outgoing personality Viktor put forth, and what it was hiding. 

The food arrived shortly, smelling divine and the conversation changed to students and the joy of being a TA, unpaid and unappreciated.

“I’m just saying if they even knew I existed that would be a plus. I grade their papers and all I’m considered is some grad student. Not one of them knows my name,” Phichit bemoaned to the group.

“The only thing being a TA does other than give me exactly enough money to buy a Big Mac once a week is make me doubt the direction of the human race. The questions I get sometimes, it’s like they’re heads are filled with bricks,” Leo said.

At this Chris snorted, “What’s infinitely worse than ignorance is the amount of times they’re on their phones. All that money in student loans just to not pay attention.”

“Tell me about it,” Phitchit agreed “it’s the most annoying thing like I’m not pretentious enough to think technology is bad but don’t use it at least while you’re in class. It’s just so frustrating.”

“I agree, but you’ll learn the longer you teach the less that will bother you. I’ve seen some weird shit in my years.” Chris added.

“Really? Like what?” Yuuri added quietly, clearly intrigued. 

If he was startled by Yuuri’s sudden entry into the conversation he didn’t show it. Chris seemed to think for a moment, gathering his thoughts before beginning. 

“Well, I had one student hand in their term paper written in crayon. It was supposed to be 12-15 pages but all I got was 4. Not terribly good either.”

Everyone laughed. Being graduate students they had seen the less dedicated students, and interacted with them, on an undergraduate level. While some of them were studious there were always one or two who just wanted to graduate and didn’t care how. These were the ones who showed up late in some altered state of being wearing clothes from yesterday. They were a comedic break in an otherwise sometime monotonous schedule.

“I think the my favorites were the intoxicated students who would email me the night before clearly intoxicated. Those were always fun, glad they’re enjoying themselves.” Chris chuckled.

“So it only gets more chaotic then?” Phitchit asked.

Chris took a sip of his glass of wine, nodding. “Fortunately and unfortunately, yes. Academia is stressful, wonderfully so, but there are moments you just kind of need a laugh. In that way it’s nice, otherwise it’s annoying because you have the unfortunate task of yelling at someone.”

“Guess I have a lot to look forward to then, I’m excited!” Viktor said, his eyes shining with mirth.

Yuuri couldn’t miss how excited Viktor looked, and his heart ached silently. Of course Viktor had to be such a good person that he wanted to teach, the stories failing to phase him. Silently, Yuuri admitted that Viktor would be a great professor. He was so dedicated to his studies, made content accessible and most importantly he truly wanted others to succeed. 

The conversation stayed on the teaching topic for while, discussing the pains of grading and the overwhelming pressure to be constantly producing new ideas. Still, even with all the negatives in plain sight Yuuri knew he wanted this more than anything. He wanted to learn, and to always be learning, and even if that came with disrespectful students he would deal. Perhaps with Viktor’s help he would be able to land a rare job as a full time researcher.

As they began to finish up their meals they discussed where they were heading next, to meet up with a few Russian scholars at a nearby dive bar. Yuuri flt a little tense, meeting new people within the field was always super nerve wracking for him, as he felt he had to put forth a certain image since they were peers. He sighed, tonight was going to be a long night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> To be honest I'm unsure if I'll continue writing this piece, I just don't know I have the time. Let me know your thoughts though, if enough people want me to continue work on it I will. If not I might just put it aside.


	6. Update

An update, this will be taken down within the next few days as I'm going to (possibly) reformat the story. Thank you all for your wonderful feedback but I have to delete this for personal reasons though I will be trying to rework it and republish it sometime within the future.


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